liars

they're all liars.


people told me that twins get easier at
three months
then six months
a year.


i now know they're liars.
all of them.


i have come to the conclusion that it will never get easier.


and i know a few moms with young twins read this blog
and
i want you to know
they are all liars.


it doesn't get easier. it gets harder.


in the beginning they don't sleep but at least they just lay there.
you can
shower
eat
facebook
......you know, the necessities.


and you are in such a delirious sleep deprived state that nothing seems real.
now, i am awake and aware.
and i am fully aware that it has not gotten easier.
they start rolling
then they start crawling
and walking
then running
in opposite directions.
and they learn how to open the pantry.
and they empty the pantry.

and the first day it's cute
because they will play in one area for six minutes with the pantry contents.


but then
they learn how to open the front door
and run outside
in opposite directions
with canned goods
in just a shirt and diaper because they have learned to take their clothes off.
so you just stop caring whether or not they look cute 100% of the time.


so you run out.
bring one twin in.
go outside to get the other one.
only to find out the first one opened the door and is now outside again
with more cans.
you then see their first round of booty rolling into the street.




that last series has only happened a few times.
but it has happened.
thank goodness we live on a quiet cul de sac.

their new favorite game is open the bathroom door, open the toilet, play in toilet, splash and lick each others hands.
AND
dunk the pacy in the toilet and put it back in your mouth as toilet water drips down your face is another crowd pleaser.


who does that?


they also dabble in open mommy's and daddy's door and hide.
here's what we're working with now.

he is not strong enough to move the couch yet but give him a few weeks.


however,
i am getting way too fat and pregnant to move the couch every time i want to go in or out of my bedroom.

our doors have handles, not knobs so finding those safety doorknob things has been difficult. i found something that may work so stay tuned

 people tell me eventually they will play together but as for now?
not so much.


they can't talk so playtime is usually short lived and ends up in one getting hurt.
sometimes physically usually emotionally.
and these kids are draaaaaamatic.
they got it from their dada.
bahahahaha. those of you who don't know me might believe this and i love it.
every stolen toy results in a major crisis.


and have you been lucky enough to dine with us?
ha!
what a joke.
highchairs are no mas around here. they "sit" in big kid chairs nowadays.....but that is a whole 'nother post.
so eating out is pretty much impossible.
the only way we make it through is if i carb load them.
i just keep feeding them.
over
and
over.


the good news is the new baby will be here in august so everything will get a whole lot easier then.


oy
vey.

my day

i feel like this is my first real mothers day.

last year we had 8 week old twins and the notion of seizing the moment and appreciating what this day means was no where in sight. reality was no where in sight.

this year, i get it.

i know how it feels to have the two biggest beating pieces of my heart walking around outside of my body.

i watch you both in awe not believing i made you.

my favorite part of our day is when you wake up. you both crawl on my lap, drink your milk and we watch sesame street.

during this time, i make a conscious effort to be present. to hug you both. and to literally feel my love for you pour out of my body and into yours. at that moment i think yup, this is what it's supposed to feel like.

if you both wake up every morning and go to sleep every night knowing that i loved you every second of the day then i will feel like i've done my job.

and to the little girl in my belly, as much as i can't wait to meet you, know that i am loving this time when you are trapped in my belly and you are all mine.

and to my mamma.....

thank you for guiding me and teaching me so many invaluable lessons.

thank you for teaching me to cook, craft, bake and for fostering my creativity.

thank you for decorating for every holiday making our house feel magical.

thank you for answering the phone in the middle of the night to help me realize my self diagnosed terminal illness is by no means not terminal at all. phewww.

thanks for kissing me back to health and happiness.

and most of all

thank you for constantly telling me how much you love me.

thank you to my stepmom for coming in to our lives as we were monsters (my words, not hers) and loving us still.

and to my sweet husband, you are a gem. thank you for making me the mamma to the most amazing children on this planet. for me, being a mother will be my greatest legacy. the best thing i will have ever done. thank you for doing such an amazing job walking by my side. you are my best friend and i love watching you as a father.

summer lovin'

spring was nice. all two days of it.

yesterday the thermometer in my car said it was 103. um excuse me, what? it's definitely summer. so what do we do here in florida? we swim.

the twins are obsessed with "melmo" have you heard the twins say melmo? you'll die.

so

i have decided that busch gardens will be my saving grace this summer, i can sit and the kids can splash in sesame street land. pahahaha. yeah right, i can't sit. but, at least their screams aren't as loud as they are at home.

cheers to that.

if only i could enjoy a fruity summer cocktail as they frolicked.

sigh.
next summer.

it's just that this baby in my belly is getting big.
or
maybe i'm just getting big but the thought of getting even bigger and it getting even hotter is enough for me to get snippy.....scratch that, it actually makes me hateful.

i don't like the heat sans baby let alone with child.
anyway. i'm getting off topic. i pretty much just dropped by for you to see how flippin' cute these babies are.

please note: there is an absurd number of pictures

i was unable to cut back because i have the cutest kids to have ever walked the planet.

for realz.

big kids

we're kind of like little mini houdinis.
no matter how tight mommy and daddy strap us in our high chairs we can get out.
mommy finally got the hint when she saw my bubba standing on his high chair tray.
she's not a slacker of a mom, we're just really quick.

we probably wouldn't have to be so crazy if mamma would just get the hint that we are ready to move on to bigger and better things.

so,

this is how we eat now.

we're kind of big.

it's nice.

now we can face each other and have a conversation like normal twins.

of course i'll sit still as long as i know food is coming to the table.

him? not so much. this is as much as he will commit to sitting.

i dragged my chair in here to watch a lil blue's clues and of course he started whining because he wants to do everything i do. mamma brought his chair in and then he wouldn't even sit still long enough to occupy it. someone needs to teach him to chill. and to think, the whole time we were in mamma's belly she thought i was the active one. silly mamma.

xoxo

love,

chlo

bampa

that's what chloe calls my dad.
he started trying to teach them how to say grandpa when they were 6 hours old and he is very happy that it has paid off..
colton calls him pahhhhh but it kind of sounds more like bahhhhh sometimes. and yes, he holds it that long.

there is something so special about grandparents.
they always make you happy. they make everything better.

i was blessed to have all four of mine up until two thursdays ago.
i lost my grandpa p.

he was an amazing man.

he lived to be 93.



he always had a comb and his rubber change purse in his pocket.

he always cleaned his nails.

he used to make us pizzelles and have cookouts and grill italian sausage.

he firmly believed that everything was better with tomatoes.

he could always tell if i hadn't washed my face in the morning.....even as a kid. he didn't like when i didn't and he always said "you can't feel awake without washing your face."

he made me feel so loved. i was his first granddaughter.

he made me feel more italian than i really was and wanted me to be a proud italian.

he introduced me to cassata cake (my favorite cake) and always had salami, olives and cheese in the fridge.....and ice cream in the freezer 

he was always wanting us to eat and he loved taking us to vince and joe's in michigan for meats and cheeses. and vito's bakery for cassata cake and cannoli's.

he had a garden in michigan and i loved eating his italian green beans with tomatoes.

i didn't really like tomatoes when i was a kid but i pretended to because grandpa p. believed tomatoes deserved their own food group.

he and my grandma used to tell us stories about my dad when he was a kid and i could have listened to them for hours.

he played bocce ball in a league and i used to love hearing the balls clank together hoping my grandpa's would knock his opponents further away from the little ball.

he taught us to play washers which i believe was a game he played as a kid and i loved winning those pennies. i really loved when we played with his quarters.

when he got excited he would clap his hands, crouch down and stretch his arms out like he was ready for a hug and say "ha ha".

he knew a million riddles and would walk up to complete strangers at restaurants and riddle them this or that.

he was a math teacher and was constantly trying teach us math tricks so when we were out he could put us on display. when we performed he would always say something like "can you believe such a young little girl knows that?" and then he demanded a response.

he had four grandsons, three granddaughters, four great-grandaughters and two great-grandsons, one of which he didn't get the chance to meet.

he told me never to pick up a coin off the ground if it were heads up, the last time he did was the day he found out his son had polio and later died. to this day i don't pick up any coin unless it is heads down.

he taught us the phrase: did you know when articulating artificial sentimentality you should beware of the platitude of its ponderosity. after having reached the ultimate state of degradation consisting of dietetic integrity your gastronomical satiety should compel you to beware of the lebi lebay superiosis alacanosy. i know it probably means nothing but he made me feel like a genius once i finally memorized it. he was able to recite it into his nineties.

he always wore a cardigan, even when it was 92 degrees.

i feel so honored he got to meet my twins.

he loved the babies and would light up when he saw them. he would wiggle his hands in his ears a la "the godfather". it made my heart happy and full.

he instilled in us the importance of family and he is one of the reasons i am so close with some of my third cousins who i see once every two years.....if i'm lucky.

he would always say "this is the girl baby and this is the boy baby". i think he was right every time.

i know he lived a long and full life. i knew his time was short and as much as you think you are at peace with someone going home to be with the lord, it's never easy.

you can prepare your mind but you can't prepare your heart.

i love you grandpa. take care of us up there.

Independent Playtime

I'm writing this from my bed during "Independent Play Time". I thought I was genius by coining this phrase which, to me, is:



putting my twins in their cribs because I am six and a half months pregnant and need to close my eyes for thirty minutes because they are only napping once a day now and straight up exhausting me.

.

How's that for a run-on sentence?

However, I decided before I go on and on about how much of a genius I am

and that you all should to.ta.lly. come to me for all parenting advice that I would google it.

 I then realized I in no way made this term up.

Oops.

I felt really smart.
It is actually a recommended activity from Babywise which I read and followed when the twins were born. Apparently I retained that term and spit it up again a year later claiming it as my own.

  

You should still know I am a genius regardless.

IPT (Independent Playtime) has been a lifesaver. We have had a long and stressful week and I was up way too late Friday and Saturday for one of our good friends wedding (Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Seaton). Monday was the first day of IPT and it was out of necessity. I turned on the radio, threw a few toys in the twins cribs and peaced out for 30 minutes of glorious silence.

Uh.ma.zing.
Needless to say this was definitely going to become a part of our daily regime.

Repeat Tuesday and Wednesday but today......we had a teeny snafu. IPT decided to smack me in the face.
I put the twins in their cribs at 11:30, I went in there 20 minutes after IPT started and they were both
passed out.

Now nap time is ruined.

Joke is on me. Big time.

Oh well.....

What I really came to talk to you about is the name game.

How insane has this thing gotten? Hold on my friends, I'll tell you.

The poll results have been checked 763 times.

I have had over 2,000 views since the poll went up.

People have viewed (repeatedly) and voted from:

Germany

Finland
Moldova

Canada

Singapore

France

United Kingdom

Russia
Australia

Austria

Taiwan

China

and

Italy

How cool is that?
I love that you guys are loving this. I totally thought my parents and in-laws would vote and we would call it a day. Ironically, only one out of  the five of them has voted (my daddy).

I also thought Finn was an adorable name and that this poll would prove that to Matt.

But........

Shows what I know.



they're made of sugar and spice and everything nice.

If you know my husband or me you know we don't fight softly. We don't even discuss softly.
We are both stubborn and when we love, we love hard.
And when we dislike, we dislike harder.
That said, playing the name game hasn't been easy this time around.
And I think girls names are harder.
But with the twins, I thought boys names were harder.
Unfortunately, we had a boys name
but,
we're having a girl.
after
a lot
of discussion we have narrowed it down to seven.
Actually six.
But,
my dad hates all of our names so I have granted him a write in.
One of the names is his choice.

Choose wisely.......and bonus points if you come back and leave a comment telling me your vote.
Actually, I beg you to come back and leave a comment with your vote.
I am printing this blog out in January and I would love to have everyone's votes forever.
Or your own write in.

The poll is on the main page
top right
but,
come back here to leave your comment.

Polls close May 1st, 2011

For some reason I'm really nervous......

xoxo

What should we call this little girl?

Sooooooooo Matty and I have had a really tough time finding a name for this little girl I have in my belly.....we can't agree.

So Matty came up with a plan,
he wants you to decide.
The winner is our little girls name.

I on the other hand am not willing to give you all that much control but, I am definitely down to hear what you all have to say.
AND, I know he doesn't read my blog so maybe I can bribe you guys to swing my way, ya heard?

So,
this weekend we are going to narrow down our list to six names and Monday I will be putting a poll up.

Sound bueno?
Stay tuned.

i can't think of a title that will do this post justice.

My son walked in the family room this morning.
He assumed a stance similar to Hulk Hogan's right before he rips his shirt off.
Instead of putting his hands on his chest he put them on his hips.
With one swipe he ripped the tabs of his diaper and wiggled his booty.
I watched it fall to the floor and I realized it was not clean.
With poop all over I sprung into action.
I got him all wiped off and went to the garbage can to throw away the nastiness.

I walked back into the family room, looked around and he was gone.

I walked on the porch and found this.

I had my phone in my hand so I was able to snap a pic for you all.
Apparently my son can climb up on our patio table now.

Cheers.



hot dogs with mustard and some catch up

so a lot of you know i may go overboard on the healthy eating train but it's important to me.
and one of the best thing about having kids is you get to make the rules.
all of them.
for a mild control freak this is an amazing thing.

however, i have probably lost some credibility.
but really, can you blame me?

we were heading to busch gardens to meet sweet emma for her birthday and it was pouring rain.
we weren't just going to sit in the parking lot and wait for it to let up.
especially when mel's is right down the street.
and it's a rule in my fam, when you go to busch gardens, you go to mel's.

my kids are official tampa kids now.
they've had a hot dog from mel's.

my brother, sister and i love mel's and it was a staple in our childhood.
so being the freak of carrying on traditions that i am, i had no choice but to let them indulge.

and yes, i know how disgusting hot dogs are and it will probably be another year before they have another one. so pipe down fellow health freaks. and news flash........hot dogs from mel's don't count.

so there.

after mel's we made it to busch gardens fat, happy and the rain had stopped.

we met up with the birthday girl and headed for the train.

have i told you guys how much chlo loves animals?

it is so flippin precious.

she loves, loves, loves them.

she starts laughing when she sees them.

she kisses them.

she won't kiss me but pass her a stuffed horse and she is making out within seconds.

she loves books with animals, plastic animals, stuffed animals.

she is just straight up in love.

so obvi we took a train ride to see the animals. i thought she would die.

but.

nahhh so much.

she had more fun playing on the train with her cousin and bubba.



bubba spent the day gator rolling out of whoever's (whomever's? lora, help me out here) arms were holding him and trying to get off the train.

not happenin'.

we did see some pretty animals and made it off the train just in time for the torrential downpour.



we ran through the hurricane to to the exit to meet uncle nick at first aid where he was told he would need staples.

in his head.

ew.

he slashed his head open on elmo's tree house.

so all in all it was an insane day but really, what else would you expect around here.

nap shenanigans part deux

Hi.

Matt got the babes up from their afternoon nap.

He asked me to go in their room.

This is what I found.

 He threw all of his bumpers in her crib.

Then he realized she was having fun.
And he got mad and wanted them back.

Her crib

His crib.

ya'll know i can't make this stuff up, right?

i mean.......

sometimes i wish there was a camera in my house so you could see all the crazy stuff that goes on around here.

i put these babies down for their nap fully clothed.

business as usual.

or

so i thought.

i heard playing, laughing, screaming.

repeat.

until screaming from the boy continued.

i finally went in and found this.

and she had his pants.

and her blanket was somehow across the room.

i wish i could say these type of things are out of the norm.

however,

put quite simply, they're just not.

stream of consciousness

n., pl., streams of consciousness.

1. A literary technique that presents the thoughts and feelings of a character as they occur.

i spent all last monday night in after hours pediatrics with a blue lipped boy, struggling to breath that wouldn't respond to breathing treatments.

he has rsv and the flu.
i was having meltdown after meltdown. i couldn't hold him any more and the treatments made him cray cray. I called Matt at 9:30 to meet me there.

as soon as he got there he took the boy and within minutes he was responding to the treatments and his oxygen was better.

um. what? i change your diapers kid. you ruined MY boobs, not his, and this is how you repay me?

the doctor couldn't understand........and neither could i. but, we got to go home.

we have been doing breathing treatments every four hours and taking lots of medicine.

he was thisclose to being admitted to the hospital but apparently he and his dad had a talk, he rallied and we went home.

fortunately we are finally on the mend. finally.

moving on to other streams.

i put the twins down for a nap.
i went in 20 minutes later.
colton had no pants.
chloe had colton's blanket.
colton had chloe's paci.
colton's paci was no where to be found.
chloe's blanket was on the floor in front of colton's crib.
?????

i realize i haven't written about baby number three.

as a matter of fact, i haven't even announced baby three's gender.

i apparently am becoming am that token third child mom.

i will change that and write a post showering baby number three with attention.

and if you are reading this baby number three rumor has it that i will be too tired to raise you so you will probably end up being able to do a lot more than the twins all with a later curfew. so there is that to look forward to.

i haven't had many cravings but pie crust, not pie, just pie crust remains a constant. the coffee, tomato sauce/juice/soup, fresh market chicken salad with sliced olives, macaroni and cheese and martini cravings come and go.

i am 21 weeks and have gained 12 pounds. 10 of which were last month. wth.

sometimes i forget i am pregnant. except for when i want a martini, then i remember.
chloe now answers the following.....what does a sheep/cow/monkey say. so cute.

they both now throw things just so they can say uh oh. It is the most annoying and the cutest thing you have ever seen in your life......especially when they both uh oh for each other.

we don't have a name for baby three.

i am going to try this thing called meal planning.....do you guys do it? my husband says it saves money. we're going to give it a shot.

i am really down to cut coupons but how come they don't makes coupons for healthy fresh food?

is it true you aren't supposed to refrigerate tomatoes? if so, why?

i need to read to read to my kids more. it's so hard because they won't sit still and would really rather throw the books instead of looking at them.

i can't wait for the pool to be warm enough for us to swim. i think the pool will be key in staying sane throughout this pregnancy.

i think i've said this a million times but my kids start bobbing their heads anytime music comes on.
nothin' sweeter.

i don't think i've even done a post about chloe walking???? she started about a month and a half ago. oops.

i sweep or vacuum three times a day. it's still not enough. it makes me angry.

i'm feeling very springy and decided to spice things up around here on the chizeap.
i bought a tablecloth, cut it up and decided to make pillow covers.
i didn't have a pattern and just went with it.
i botched it.

here is the back......too short.

and here is the front.
it's inside out.
i guess i will not be supplementing our income with my mad seamstress skills.



i really want to plant a garden. is it too late?

i think i know what i want to do for the baby's nursery but i'm sure i'll change my mind 642 more times so it's not even worth giving you guys a lil sneaky peaky.

i'm leaving friday for georgia without my husband and kids.
it's my brother-in-laws, sister's wedding.
whoa. ya got that?
we are all close.
it is going to be one of those weddings you know is fun.
i won't be partying like a rockstar, i have a baby in my belly.

do you guys think emily and brad are still together?

i haven't been tending to my blog as of late. i feel like i get too behind and then it's stressful knowing i have to catch up.

i think doing stream of conciousness posts will be the answer to when i feel that way.



twins birth story

before i was a mother i would have been appalled to hear one woman ask another woman their birth story.
how weird.
so awkward.

and like every other adventure in this little game i call motherhood i will step it up and own the fact that once again i am eating my words.

now,
i'm obsessed.
a lot of people have asked me to tell my story and i kept saying i would but never wrote it out and kind of just passed on the cliff notes.
being that tomorrow my twinnies turn one i thought it was fitting to finally share.

so yes.
again this will be a tmi post that most of you will probably want to pass on.
and for the two people who have waited a year to hear it, here goes.

i had a dream pregnancy for carrying twins.
i worked up until i was 37 weeks and that was just because i wanted the last week to relax.
walking was getting harder and harder and i would easily get short of breath.
my doctors told me they wouldn't let me go past 38 weeks because the risk of a "tragedy" outweighs the benefit of two more weeks in the womb for twins.
i have yet to find out exactly what this "tragedy" consists of
but
i went with it.

i had an appointment on thursday march 4th
during my non stress test i discovered i was indeed having contractions but i didn't feel them at all.
and i was a fingertip dilated.
a fingertip?
so annoying.

you see,
when you become pregnant with twins you hear non-stop horror stories of
bed rest,
premature labor,
the nicu,
and
how your coworkers
sister-in-laws
cousins
best friend delivered twins at 26 weeks.

the doctors tell you delivering around 35-36 weeks is very common and if you can hold out to 34 weeks you are pretty much golden.
and then there is me.
a fingertip dilated at 38 weeks??

they said they could schedule my induction for friday but i decided to wait it out until monday march 8th in hopes that they would come on their own.
i did not want to be induced.
no such luck.
on monday's appointment i was 1 cm and they told me to be at the hospital at 6:00 pm to be induced.
yup. in four hours i would be leaving with two babies in my belly and coming home with two babies outside my belly.
i was 38 weeks and 3 days and the doctors were amazed that i had done so well.

we left for the hospital with me looking like this:

actually this pic was taken at 36 weeks but you get the point.

matt was so nervous on the way to the hospital he actually got on the wrong interstate and we were late.
oops.
he will probably say he just missed the exit
but no
it was because he was nervous.

we got to the hospital and they strapped me to the monitors, started the cervadil and i quickly realized i was in for a long night.
the anticipation that i would be meeting these two bodies who had made my belly their home for 8 1/2 months was intense.
that
in addition to the fact that i had to lay flat on my back, not moving to keep these uncooperative twins on the monitor made for a long and sleepless night.
every time a baby would slip off the monitor it would make a horrifying beeping noise that would cue 2 nurses to come in, turn on the lights and "re-find" whichever baby fell off.
little did they know these babies were bossy even in the womb and had no interest in being traced.
they had to tag team and switch off because the babies were playing hide and seek.
i begged them to just let me sleep for a little bit without the monitors but it wasn't happening.
i started to stress knowing that in a few short hours i would be facing one of the biggest days of my life.
i wasn't getting sleep.
i couldn't eat.
i feared i would be too exhausted and too starving to push.

before i knew it the sun was coming up.
and from here on out i will be using the notes my husband so diligently took throughout my labor.
yup,
he took notes.
on a pad of paper.
he's really cute.

they started my pitocin at 8:20
i got my epidural at 11:20
and man are those things amazing.
at 11:45 they broke my water.
from then on it was hurry up and wait.

i wasn't in any pain but started to feel really sick to my stomach.
at 3:45 i got a really high fever and the babies heart rates went up.
i started throwing up and shaking really bad
there was talk of doing a c-section if the symptoms kept up and i was not happy.
from day one my dr's said to plan on having a c-section but i wasn't having it.
at 34 weeks both twins were head down and i knew i was delivering those babies with no scalpel.
the thought of this changing made me really upset.

they kept monitoring me and eventually gave me some antibiotics to bring down the babies heart rates and my temp.
i was progressing slowly and at 8:45 i was 4-5 cm with another fever and high heart rates.

they said they would give it a couple of hours but if their heart rates were still high i would need to have a c-section to avoid stress on the babies.
and
if it were medically necessary i knew i would have to oblige.

at 9:50 i was 7 cm and getting closer but during a sonogram to check the twins, baby b (colton) was no longer head down.
um what......
i was devastated.
i had been in labor for 12 hours and he just decided to flip.
um no thanks.
i don't think so little boy.
my dr knew how bad i wanted to do this on my own so she said if i wanted she would help "push him down" after i pushed out baby a (chloe)
she warned me that there was a very good chance that i could end up pushing one out and having a c-section with the other.
i decided to take my chances.

thank god at 11 pm i was 10 cm and they started preparing the operating room.
they told me i would probably be pushing for 2-3 hours with baby a and that baby b would probably come sooner than that.
ummmm no thank you.
i was not pushing for 4 hours thankyouverymuch.
my dad and my step mom were in the room right after i got checked and he went out and told the others he could tell i was putting my game face on.
he was right.

at 11:15 they wheeled me back.
they warned me that i would be delivering in an operation room with a team ready to perform emergency surgery but no one warned me how large that team would be.
i felt like there were people everywhere.
i looked at the clock and told myself the twins would be born by midnight.
i played with the idea of giving them different birthdays.
but seriously people, how easy would that have been?

i envisioned myself as being the quarterback
in the superbowl
4th quarter
seconds left on the clock
i needed to throw a hail mary.
so i did.
and i scored.

at 11:25 I started pushing.
at 11:35 chloe was born at 6.8 ounces and 20 inches long.
at 11:40 colton was born at 6.6 ounces and 20 1/4 inches long.

done.
and i would like to say i could have done it faster but the dr. had to push on my belly to flip colton.
just wanted to state that for the record.

it was an amazing delivery and i had two babies.
two babies.
some days i still look at them and think i can't believe i had two babies.
at the same time.

this whole journey started exactly one year ago today.

i don't want to get emo so i will spare you all the mixed crazy emotions i am experiencing and just leave you with these.

i'm obsessed with my kids and i can't imagine loving them anymore.
like kinda borderline unhealthy obsessed but i play it off like i'm chill.
i'm not.

happy almost birthday angel babies.