Wednesday, May 18, 2011


they're all liars.

people told me that twins get easier at
three months
then six months
a year.

i now know they're liars.
all of them.

i have come to the conclusion that it will never get easier.

and i know a few moms with young twins read this blog
i want you to know
they are all liars.

it doesn't get easier. it gets harder.

in the beginning they don't sleep but at least they just lay there.
you can
facebook know, the necessities.

and you are in such a delirious sleep deprived state that nothing seems real.
now, i am awake and aware.
and i am fully aware that it has not gotten easier.
they start rolling
then they start crawling
and walking
then running
in opposite directions.
and they learn how to open the pantry.
and they empty the pantry.

and the first day it's cute
because they will play in one area for six minutes with the pantry contents.

but then
they learn how to open the front door
and run outside
in opposite directions
with canned goods
in just a shirt and diaper because they have learned to take their clothes off.
so you just stop caring whether or not they look cute 100% of the time.

so you run out.
bring one twin in.
go outside to get the other one.
only to find out the first one opened the door and is now outside again
with more cans.
you then see their first round of booty rolling into the street.

that last series has only happened a few times.
but it has happened.
thank goodness we live on a quiet cul de sac.

their new favorite game is open the bathroom door, open the toilet, play in toilet, splash and lick each others hands.
dunk the pacy in the toilet and put it back in your mouth as toilet water drips down your face is another crowd pleaser.

who does that?

they also dabble in open mommy's and daddy's door and hide.
here's what we're working with now.

he is not strong enough to move the couch yet but give him a few weeks.

i am getting way too fat and pregnant to move the couch every time i want to go in or out of my bedroom.

our doors have handles, not knobs so finding those safety doorknob things has been difficult. i found something that may work so stay tuned

 people tell me eventually they will play together but as for now?
not so much.

they can't talk so playtime is usually short lived and ends up in one getting hurt.
sometimes physically usually emotionally.
and these kids are draaaaaamatic.
they got it from their dada.
bahahahaha. those of you who don't know me might believe this and i love it.
every stolen toy results in a major crisis.

and have you been lucky enough to dine with us?
what a joke.
highchairs are no mas around here. they "sit" in big kid chairs nowadays.....but that is a whole 'nother post.
so eating out is pretty much impossible.
the only way we make it through is if i carb load them.
i just keep feeding them.

the good news is the new baby will be here in august so everything will get a whole lot easier then.



  1. Those that don't know you, or your twins, might just think you are a humorous fiction writer. I, on the other hand, know you are a non fiction writer. Everything in this post is true! Ya gotta love 'em.

  2. Thanks for vouching dad but you know I can't make this stuff up!

  3. Can't wait to come and see all this fun stuff.

  4. Yeah! Cupboards and cabinets getting emptied gets old quick! I suggest investing in the baby proofing gear for cupboards, doors and the toilet for sure!! It makes life easier, especially when you are to big and pregnant to clean that stuff up 5 times a day! It never gets "easier" the more kids you have, you just have to figure out new ways to adapt to the madness so that your life becomes managable...and the adapting needs to happen at least once a month at the toddler age because they change their behaivor constantly! My advice...stratagize with the hubby!! Tom and I will sit at night when the kids are in bed and discuss the current behaivor and how we can go about dealing with it. You will be moving to a zone defense soon, just like us, so the more prepared you are, the better!! Love You! Angie

  5. Ang......he has already broken into the cabinets we have locked. he ripped the plastic part out of the cabinets by pulling so hard for so long : )

  6. I, too, can verify. After spending the morning with them I really learned quite a bit! ALWAYS make sure the dead bolt is on the front door (I found Colton halfway down the driveway at a dead run with Chlo not far behind). ALWAYS keep at least one eye on them at all times no matter what you're trying to do (Chlo was standing on her chair holding the back when it tipped and she splatted on the floor) ALWAYS follow when one leaves during play time in the bedroom (Colton had dragged his chair over to the bar and was getting ready to pull down the knife I had used to cut their banana for breakfast). ALWAYS respond to a scream cuz sometimes it's real (A fight over a toy that resulted in a bump on the head). No wonder Mamma's exhausted! The thing that always saves them is that cute little grin, sloppy kiss and a big hug that they're always ready to give. I DO love 'em!!

  7. Hahahaha! I didn't know they escaped while you were here Mom!!!!

  8. Oh - and the other thing. About that couch in front of the bedroom door set up. Colton climbed over the back and slithered down between the door and the couch and ta da- opened the door.

  9. Oh dear.... Is this really what I'm in for? AH! I'll admit, there was that few weeks of bliss when my girls could sit up, play with toys, but were too scared to try to move. Sadly, that bliss abruptly ended when they took that daring plunge and started crawling. I can only imagine how it will be when they're walking and plotting with each other!

  10. bahahaha, you are hilarious. And this is why I do not have children yet!