Tuesday, March 29, 2011

ya'll know i can't make this stuff up, right?

i mean.......
sometimes i wish there was a camera in my house so you could see all the crazy stuff that goes on around here.
i put these babies down for their nap fully clothed.
business as usual.
so i thought.
i heard playing, laughing, screaming.
until screaming from the boy continued.

i finally went in and found this.

and she had his pants.

and her blanket was somehow across the room.

i wish i could say these type of things are out of the norm.
put quite simply, they're just not.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

stream of consciousness

n., pl., streams of consciousness.
  1. A literary technique that presents the thoughts and feelings of a character as they occur.

i spent all last monday night in after hours pediatrics with a blue lipped boy, struggling to breath that wouldn't respond to breathing treatments.

he has rsv and the flu.
i was having meltdown after meltdown. i couldn't hold him any more and the treatments made him cray cray. I called Matt at 9:30 to meet me there.

as soon as he got there he took the boy and within minutes he was responding to the treatments and his oxygen was better.

um. what? i change your diapers kid. you ruined MY boobs, not his, and this is how you repay me?

the doctor couldn't understand........and neither could i. but, we got to go home.

we have been doing breathing treatments every four hours and taking lots of medicine.

he was thisclose to being admitted to the hospital but apparently he and his dad had a talk, he rallied and we went home.

fortunately we are finally on the mend. finally.

moving on to other streams.

i put the twins down for a nap.
i went in 20 minutes later.
colton had no pants.
chloe had colton's blanket.
colton had chloe's paci.
colton's paci was no where to be found.
chloe's blanket was on the floor in front of colton's crib.

i realize i haven't written about baby number three.

as a matter of fact, i haven't even announced baby three's gender.

i apparently am becoming am that token third child mom.

i will change that and write a post showering baby number three with attention.

and if you are reading this baby number three rumor has it that i will be too tired to raise you so you will probably end up being able to do a lot more than the twins all with a later curfew. so there is that to look forward to.

i haven't had many cravings but pie crust, not pie, just pie crust remains a constant. the coffee, tomato sauce/juice/soup, fresh market chicken salad with sliced olives, macaroni and cheese and martini cravings come and go.

i am 21 weeks and have gained 12 pounds. 10 of which were last month. wth.

sometimes i forget i am pregnant. except for when i want a martini, then i remember.
chloe now answers the following.....what does a sheep/cow/monkey say. so cute.

they both now throw things just so they can say uh oh. It is the most annoying and the cutest thing you have ever seen in your life......especially when they both uh oh for each other.

we don't have a name for baby three.

i am going to try this thing called meal you guys do it? my husband says it saves money. we're going to give it a shot.

i am really down to cut coupons but how come they don't makes coupons for healthy fresh food?

is it true you aren't supposed to refrigerate tomatoes? if so, why?

i need to read to read to my kids more. it's so hard because they won't sit still and would really rather throw the books instead of looking at them.

i can't wait for the pool to be warm enough for us to swim. i think the pool will be key in staying sane throughout this pregnancy.

i think i've said this a million times but my kids start bobbing their heads anytime music comes on.
nothin' sweeter.

i don't think i've even done a post about chloe walking???? she started about a month and a half ago. oops.

i sweep or vacuum three times a day. it's still not enough. it makes me angry.

i'm feeling very springy and decided to spice things up around here on the chizeap.
i bought a tablecloth, cut it up and decided to make pillow covers.
i didn't have a pattern and just went with it.
i botched it.

here is the back......too short.

and here is the front.
it's inside out.
i guess i will not be supplementing our income with my mad seamstress skills.

i really want to plant a garden. is it too late?

i think i know what i want to do for the baby's nursery but i'm sure i'll change my mind 642 more times so it's not even worth giving you guys a lil sneaky peaky.

i'm leaving friday for georgia without my husband and kids.
it's my brother-in-laws, sister's wedding.
whoa. ya got that?
we are all close.
it is going to be one of those weddings you know is fun.
i won't be partying like a rockstar, i have a baby in my belly.

do you guys think emily and brad are still together?

i haven't been tending to my blog as of late. i feel like i get too behind and then it's stressful knowing i have to catch up.

i think doing stream of conciousness posts will be the answer to when i feel that way.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

twins birth story

before i was a mother i would have been appalled to hear one woman ask another woman their birth story.
how weird.
so awkward.

and like every other adventure in this little game i call motherhood i will step it up and own the fact that once again i am eating my words.

i'm obsessed.
a lot of people have asked me to tell my story and i kept saying i would but never wrote it out and kind of just passed on the cliff notes.
being that tomorrow my twinnies turn one i thought it was fitting to finally share.

so yes.
again this will be a tmi post that most of you will probably want to pass on.
and for the two people who have waited a year to hear it, here goes.

i had a dream pregnancy for carrying twins.
i worked up until i was 37 weeks and that was just because i wanted the last week to relax.
walking was getting harder and harder and i would easily get short of breath.
my doctors told me they wouldn't let me go past 38 weeks because the risk of a "tragedy" outweighs the benefit of two more weeks in the womb for twins.
i have yet to find out exactly what this "tragedy" consists of
i went with it.

i had an appointment on thursday march 4th
during my non stress test i discovered i was indeed having contractions but i didn't feel them at all.
and i was a fingertip dilated.
a fingertip?
so annoying.

you see,
when you become pregnant with twins you hear non-stop horror stories of
bed rest,
premature labor,
the nicu,
how your coworkers
best friend delivered twins at 26 weeks.

the doctors tell you delivering around 35-36 weeks is very common and if you can hold out to 34 weeks you are pretty much golden.
and then there is me.
a fingertip dilated at 38 weeks??

they said they could schedule my induction for friday but i decided to wait it out until monday march 8th in hopes that they would come on their own.
i did not want to be induced.
no such luck.
on monday's appointment i was 1 cm and they told me to be at the hospital at 6:00 pm to be induced.
yup. in four hours i would be leaving with two babies in my belly and coming home with two babies outside my belly.
i was 38 weeks and 3 days and the doctors were amazed that i had done so well.

we left for the hospital with me looking like this:

actually this pic was taken at 36 weeks but you get the point.

matt was so nervous on the way to the hospital he actually got on the wrong interstate and we were late.
he will probably say he just missed the exit
but no
it was because he was nervous.

we got to the hospital and they strapped me to the monitors, started the cervadil and i quickly realized i was in for a long night.
the anticipation that i would be meeting these two bodies who had made my belly their home for 8 1/2 months was intense.
in addition to the fact that i had to lay flat on my back, not moving to keep these uncooperative twins on the monitor made for a long and sleepless night.
every time a baby would slip off the monitor it would make a horrifying beeping noise that would cue 2 nurses to come in, turn on the lights and "re-find" whichever baby fell off.
little did they know these babies were bossy even in the womb and had no interest in being traced.
they had to tag team and switch off because the babies were playing hide and seek.
i begged them to just let me sleep for a little bit without the monitors but it wasn't happening.
i started to stress knowing that in a few short hours i would be facing one of the biggest days of my life.
i wasn't getting sleep.
i couldn't eat.
i feared i would be too exhausted and too starving to push.

before i knew it the sun was coming up.
and from here on out i will be using the notes my husband so diligently took throughout my labor.
he took notes.
on a pad of paper.
he's really cute.

they started my pitocin at 8:20
i got my epidural at 11:20
and man are those things amazing.
at 11:45 they broke my water.
from then on it was hurry up and wait.

i wasn't in any pain but started to feel really sick to my stomach.
at 3:45 i got a really high fever and the babies heart rates went up.
i started throwing up and shaking really bad
there was talk of doing a c-section if the symptoms kept up and i was not happy.
from day one my dr's said to plan on having a c-section but i wasn't having it.
at 34 weeks both twins were head down and i knew i was delivering those babies with no scalpel.
the thought of this changing made me really upset.

they kept monitoring me and eventually gave me some antibiotics to bring down the babies heart rates and my temp.
i was progressing slowly and at 8:45 i was 4-5 cm with another fever and high heart rates.

they said they would give it a couple of hours but if their heart rates were still high i would need to have a c-section to avoid stress on the babies.
if it were medically necessary i knew i would have to oblige.

at 9:50 i was 7 cm and getting closer but during a sonogram to check the twins, baby b (colton) was no longer head down.
um what......
i was devastated.
i had been in labor for 12 hours and he just decided to flip.
um no thanks.
i don't think so little boy.
my dr knew how bad i wanted to do this on my own so she said if i wanted she would help "push him down" after i pushed out baby a (chloe)
she warned me that there was a very good chance that i could end up pushing one out and having a c-section with the other.
i decided to take my chances.

thank god at 11 pm i was 10 cm and they started preparing the operating room.
they told me i would probably be pushing for 2-3 hours with baby a and that baby b would probably come sooner than that.
ummmm no thank you.
i was not pushing for 4 hours thankyouverymuch.
my dad and my step mom were in the room right after i got checked and he went out and told the others he could tell i was putting my game face on.
he was right.

at 11:15 they wheeled me back.
they warned me that i would be delivering in an operation room with a team ready to perform emergency surgery but no one warned me how large that team would be.
i felt like there were people everywhere.
i looked at the clock and told myself the twins would be born by midnight.
i played with the idea of giving them different birthdays.
but seriously people, how easy would that have been?

i envisioned myself as being the quarterback
in the superbowl
4th quarter
seconds left on the clock
i needed to throw a hail mary.
so i did.
and i scored.

at 11:25 I started pushing.
at 11:35 chloe was born at 6.8 ounces and 20 inches long.
at 11:40 colton was born at 6.6 ounces and 20 1/4 inches long.

and i would like to say i could have done it faster but the dr. had to push on my belly to flip colton.
just wanted to state that for the record.

it was an amazing delivery and i had two babies.
two babies.
some days i still look at them and think i can't believe i had two babies.
at the same time.

this whole journey started exactly one year ago today.

i don't want to get emo so i will spare you all the mixed crazy emotions i am experiencing and just leave you with these.

i'm obsessed with my kids and i can't imagine loving them anymore.
like kinda borderline unhealthy obsessed but i play it off like i'm chill.
i'm not.

happy almost birthday angel babies.