Friday, January 13, 2012

Friday Quicky

Oh Chloe James.
You are one of a kind.
You dance to the beat of your own drum and you couldn't care less if anyone is watching.
Miss Independent.
You took your nickname and ran with it.

Chloe has her "things".
Right now, her "thing" is screaming.
She does it purely for a reaction.
Typically, I try to ignore it, she stops sooner that way.
If you tell her not to scream sometimes she will whisper scream.
She makes a face like she is going to scream so loud. She puts her hands by her face for a little extra flair, and she whisper screams.
I don't know how else to describe it.
It is a whisper
with the facial expression of a scream
and in the pitch of a scream.

Today at the grocery store she was in rare form.
Screaming up and down all the aisles.
I knew we had to get to the deli counter. And fast.
If you want to shut girlfriend up without making a scene? Put food in her mouth.

We finally made it to the checkout line and she screamed. Loud.
I always try to be a little more strict in line because, well, let's be honest, people can hear me.
If they hear me discipline in a calm and deliberate fashion, they think I am a better mom.
And it is really important to me for strangers to think I am a good mom.

So I sternly turned to her and said,
"If you scream one more time I will take that salami out of your mouth and you
will not
get more. This is your warning."

Sister took the chewed up salami out of her mouth,
threw it on the floor and screamed at the top of her lungs.
She then looked at me, shrugged her shoulders and lit.era.lly looked at me and said
your move.
she really didn't say that but, I swear, her face said that.
I don't think I won the affection of strangers with that display.

a woman did turn to me and said to me "you've got your hands full."
Of course she did.
Of course she did.

Well played, Chloe.

1 comment:

  1. So do you hate that phrase as much as I do? I think I'm just sick of hearing it ALL THE TIME.