Wednesday, October 6, 2010

You must have your hands full and other things I hear every day of my life....

Ok, I get it, there is something intriguing about twins. I, too, before having twins was fascinated with twins but not nearly to the extent that some people I have encountered. It really is amazing what some people ask, advise or just comment with no shame. Here are the most popular and a few of my favs.

You must have your hands full.......this is by far the most popular. I mean, I understand what people are trying to say but it amazes me that everyone uses the exact same phrase! This along with "better you than me", "is it hard?", "do you ever get to sleep" and "how do you do it" are what we twin moms hear on the reg. The truth is YES, it probably is better me than you, YES, it's extremely hard, and NO, I don't ever get sleep......but we'll get to that. They do make me want to pull my hair out and drink more than I already do but, they are really cute so today I think I'm going to keep them around for a while. Tomorrow? Could be a whole new ball game and they may or may not be listed on Craigslist.

Are they twins?: I mean people ask it more often than not. Really? Next comes - boy/girl? When I reply yes, amazingly what usually follows is are they identical?
They can't be identical.
Boys and girls can't be identical.
What makes them boys and girls is what makes them unable to be identical.

After that comes "they don't look alike" or "they look exactly alike, maybe they are identical" ummmm? A lot of times I say maybe, and just keep walking. It's a lot easier than giving them a biology lesson.

Make sure you sleep when they sleep: Ummmmm right. Like, I almost can't even comment on this one.

Side note: My dad is going to be so mad I started that sentence with like but I just feel like that's how it has to start dad so move on mkay?

I literally have probably had 15 naps in the 7 months I have had these twins. I can't explain why or how but it just can't happen. It doesn't happen. IF on the rare occasion they do sleep at the same time by the time I pee and get a cup of water and maybe get a load of laundry in the washing machine one of them is usually up. Now, in fairness, my mother says my kids are completely abnormal in the sleep department. They kind of don't, sleep, that is. I just feel like I'm done with this one so lets move along shall we? It just doesn't work.

I bet if you BLANK they will BLANK: Don't get me wrong, I am wide open to suggestions but there comes a point where I know my kids better than you and that's just how it is. A lot of times this comes from parents of singletons (yup, learned that term when I was pregnant with twins) or even more hysterically from people who don't have kids at all. Pretty funny, huh?

The following are my favorites......the absolutely inappropriate ones....
Did you have help? Meaning, IVF. Answer - no. There are no twins in either side of our families. Ok, actually there are but lemme explain. My cousins are twins but their mother has twins in her family and I am not blood related to her. Get it? My husband always says "why do you always feel the need to add that" well, because I feel like I have to even though it's not relevant because it doesn't increase my chance for having twins. My doctor described it best when she said it has to start somewhere and in your family, it started with you. Interesting side note - fraternal twins are only genetic on the mothers side. That may or may not be true, someone told me that so whatev - I'm going with it.

Did you have a C Section? No. I didn't want to and I was very clear about that with every doctor I saw and luckily my doctor was very respectful of that in the delivery room. You have to birth twins in the operating room because there is a very good chance you will end up with a C section......even after you had the first one the other way. I mean I don't want to get to gross here so you get it, right? At the last minute Colton kind of flipped sideways but my doctor literally hopped on me and worked him down??? So weird. But, it all worked out and there was no section over here folks.

Do you nurse? I mean who asks this?! The answer is yes and maybe I will address those issues in another post just because I feel like I could help some peeps. Oh a few people have actually asked me how much weight I gained!!! And one woman asked me how much I had lost when the twins were 3 months old in the middle of the grocery store. I mean, when you think it couldn't get crazier, it does.

I'm sure I have missed a bunch worth mentioning but this twin mamma is using the rest of her down time for a bubble bath and glass of wine.


  1. yep heard them all before (except never got asked if i nursed them...that truly would have been weird)

  2. Welcome to the blogosphere, Sis!

    Personally, I liked the sentence that began, "I literally have probably..."

  3. i can't believe you named your blog after yourself (the web address). that's my first comment.

    what i don't understand is why don't just nap when they nap. that's what i would do. that IS what i do. it's not that hard. i could take 7 naps in one week. you're just not trying hard enough.

    why is it so difficult to post a comment here. shouldn't i just be able to enter my name. what if i don't have a typepad or aim or google id.

    this is kevin by the way since blogspot won't let me just enter my name.

  4. Ry and I were on our way home last weekend and there was a family with a 3 year old and baby twins, like cant hold their heads up yet age. (We'll call them Susie and Mark) Yes, you are right, twins are intriguing to look at and I was tempted to walk by and sneak a peak but then I thought of you and how annoying that must be so I refrained. Our plane was delayed 10 minutes (the luggage door was stuck and they couldnt get the last planes luggage off and ours on if you were wondering)so I had plenty of time to sit back and observe. 1st lady came by (we'll call her Jane) and sat down right next to the family. Jane's preggo with twins but doesnt know what the sex is yet. Mark explains to Jane that it gets easier in time as Susie chimes in and says it really isnt easy, you will definitely have your hands full. She tells it like it is...Then Susie takes the screaming 3 year old to the bathroom while Mark tells Jane that they had 2 eggs inserted and 2 took (fraternal, boy/girl twins). Jane says she had 2 eggs inserted and only 1 took but the 1 split, hence the twins. What strangers have this conversation? susie comes back and they pack up the 2 car seats in individiual carrying cases, baby 1 starts to cry, baby 2 starts to cry. They fold up the double stroller and the 3 years old's stroller and proceed to line up to board. While waiting, an old man comes over intrigued by the twins and starts talking to the 3 year old about being a great big sister and conversation to Mark about nothing. An old lady walks up to Susie and tells her she has twin boys and one of them had diarrhea in the airport when he was a baby....

    Ryan says, please dont have twins, I will NEVER talk back.....

    What is it about twins that says please come and talk to me, I dont have enough things to do, now is a good time to make a new friend.

    Moral of the story Mo; you have a lot of patients, you deserve every sip of wine you drink AND better you than me!!! :)


  5. Steph. I. am. peeing. in. my. pants. That was hilarious.

    Mark - that would be really weird but you and I know stranger things have happened.

    Faydra - I almost fixed it but Ithink literally I have but I may be wrong so literally I think stuck ; )

    Kevin - I just don't know what to say to you. I don't even know what that technical comment meant. I'm lucky to have just gotten this thing up and running so chill. Teach me how to resize pics and all that fancy stuff since you have all this extra down time.

  6. Marissa- I LOVE it! Thanks so much for sharing!

  7. Faydra - just reread my comment that made no sense at all..... I think literally I have only had 15 but I may be wrong so literally I think stuck ; )

  8. LOVE THIS!! Thanks for the entertainment Mo!! I'm pretty sure this is keeping me from wanting kids at all... let alone twins. Thanks for my dose of BC today. :)

  9. Bahahaha. I love you Lori - PS Matty joined FB and I asked him if he was friends with his girlfriend - his respone "no, but I want to be!"

  10. Okay, few things to comment on here :)
    twin moms aren't the only ones who get the "your hands must be full" comment. and some of the time will isn't even with me. i'm like seriously? and then i have to add that there's another one on the way.
    2nd. i'm confused about the if you blank they will blank. give me an example.
    and lastly to kpstrat - mine is named after myself too! i mean it's not named that, just the web address is. if i remember correctly, that's kind of how blogspot suggests it???
    ps i love you and you make me laugh

  11. i meant that last line to marissa, not kevin. but kevin, it is true of you also

  12. Jaimes - I bet you get t all the time....and don't they always use the same exact phrase? It's so weird??? Why not you must be busy.....or something like that??? People will say I bet if you feed them solids (blank) they will sleep (blank). Or I bet if you let them stay awake later (blank) they will sleep later in the morning (blank). And your brother is just weird - Kevin, not the other one. I didn't know what else to put??? And, I love you toooooo!