monkeys

monkey see

monkey do

almost there

but not quite.
i will be 40 weeks monday.
today is saturday.

i have been eating like it is my last day.

kind of like

i might as well eat it since i might not be pregnant tomorrow.

guess what?
between you and me?

i know i'll be pregnant tomorrow
but
it's kind of like
every night i think........this could be my last chance to eat like a glutton.
which clearly is enough for me to justify the disgusting things i continue to put in my mouth.

among my favorites?
this bad boy.



the strawberry pillow.

i can't handle it.

i think about them non stop.

among my other favs this go round are

pie crust. no filling. just a little bit of the sugary cornstarch stuff and crust.

starbucks blueberry scones.

tijuana flats ice

pasta
churros
cake. no frosting. just cake. actually, i freeze cake. and eat it frozen. it's devine.

peanut butter

french fries

and pretty much anything else you shouldn't eat on the reg.

i have gained 36 pounds.

3 of which came last week.

i got cocky.

i gained 1/2 of a pound over the past three weeks and clearly thought i could maintain that.

oops.

whatev.

i'm not worried about it.

after baby i will get back to business.

i gained 63 pounds with the twins and it took 6 1/2 months to lose it so hopefully that "it's harder to lose weight the second time around" nonsense is

just

that.

nonsense.

i mean a girl can dream, right?

now if you'll excuse me, i have a strawberry pillow to devour.

oh.....p.s. i am due monday.

like not tomorrow

but the next day.

and i have been dilated one centimeter for three weeks now.

so it's looking like baby girl is going to arrive in style, fashionably late.

to be honest, that is just fine by me.

a wise woman once told me they are a lot easier to manage inside than they are outside.

i learned that she was right about 6 minutes after the twins were born.

Ahhhhhh......slowly exhaling.

I feel so much better.

Thank you all so much for sending love. Whether it was by email, facebook or a comment on my blog you made me feel better and not alone.

And thank you Amy for sending all your million followers who have been there done that and let me know I would indeed make it. Love you, Aim.

I really feel better already.
I have already begun operation spoil my kids faces off.
I know it's not right.
I know it will make it more difficult for those caring for my twins while I'm out of commission.
But,
frankly,
I don't care.

It has already made me feel better and let's be honest, that's what's important.
Ummm hmm.
I'm selfish like that.

So yeah.

We went to Curtis Hixon Park even though it was 942 degrees and I was quite certain my baby was going to fall out of my stomach right then and there.
And we went with the twins best friend Veronica.
She's a really good mom and packs lots of snacks.
She keeps my kids full and they know who butters their bread.
And they love it.
And they love her.
And Chloe's first french kiss was with her son, Jameson.
Which, she initiated, I might add.
Don't worry, we had a talk with her.

V knows Chlo loves wa la la la
so,
of course,
she hooked her up.

P.S. Chloe calls watermelon "wa la la la" with extra drama on the la la la with her tongue.

And girlfriend isn't scared of a little rind.

This is J letting Colton know that he will continue to kiss Chloe if he wants to.

Miss Independent enjoyed a leisurely stroll while her counterpart remained a permanent fixture on my hip.

Until there was more fun to be had.

We had cinnamon rolls for breakfast on Sunday.
And chicken fingers for lunch.
And I think there may have been a half of cookie in there somewhere.
I am kind of a health freak in regards to the twins diet so this speaks volumes on the level I intend to spoil.

But just for the record......only I am allowed to do that.......mmkay, grandparents?

Today I geared up and took them to another splash park.

And it's only Tuesday.
So twinnies.......live it up, we have two more weeks of this nonsense.

Mamma loves you.

stratton, party of four

believe it or not i have 4 blogs in draft that i have started to write this week.
i thought if i plowed through eventually at least one of them would come together.
obviously, they didn't.
so there they will sit until i am feeling them.
i need to blog about fathers day.
i need to blog about my fishees and how they are learning to swim.
i need to blog about the beautiful sprinkle my family and friend threw for this sweet baby girl who does gymnastics in my belly all night long.
but

all of those are happy things and i have been feeling so emo this week so i can't give them the vibe that i feel that they deserve.

the truth is this baby is coming soon.
like for real.
like 15 days soon.

and i am scared.

it is a weird feeling bringing another baby into your family when you have
two babies that are still,
well,
babies.
at least they are to me.
the twins turned 16 months last week.

i find myself being even more mamma bear and protective over the them now.
they have had me all to themselves for 16 months.
and colton is so needy.
such a mamma's boy.

i feel like we're bringing a puppy home.
you know you are going to love the puppy
and that the puppy will be a part of your family.
and you know in a few short days after that puppy is home you will be saying things like
"i just can't remember life before this puppy"
"this puppy is the greatest thing to happen to this family"
and
"with this puppy, our family feels complete"
but still, you can't help but wonder how it will be in the interim.
for the twins.
and to be honest,
for me.

i know it's me.
realistically,
i know the twins will be fine without me for a few days
but
i will miss them.
like a lot.
i get teary just thinking about how their life is going to be uprooted.
all while i'm not even there to hold them and tell them how my love for them won't change
in fact, it will grow watching them begin love my sweet pea as much as i do.
and i know even if i did get deep with them they wouldn't understand
and
that they wouldn't even sit still long enough for me to get the first sentence out.

but right now, i'm anxious about properly adjusting our lives to accommodate a third child.

the twins jump on me like i'm a playground apparatus (sorry baby number three)
and we won't be able to rough house for a while.
and i won't be able to throw them up in the air
or
run around and chase them.
and hello
i'm bringing home a new
baby
to stay.
and i'm going to have to be mean because i won't allow them to beat up on her for at least like 2 weeks.
by then i'll be too tired and she will just have to fend for herself.

and to make matters more difficult, my twinnies have been so good this week.
almost throwing it in my face like...

are you suuuuuure you want to stay in the hospital and leave us for days and bring home a new little girl

 for us to live with

forever?



i feel like there is more we should be doing together.

like qt stuff.

these are our last couple weeks as

stratton, party of four.

so i'm probably going to spoil them for the next two weeks.

like a lot.

maybe we'll have ice cream for breakfast one day.

maybe that will make me feel better.

i just love you sweet babies and trust me, another sibling is one of the greatest gifts you will ever receive.

i know,

i'm lucky to be one of five and they are my best friends.

all of them.

hang in there.

things will get back to normal.....well, our new normal shortly.

mommy loves you more than you know.

and p to the s,

dad, i know i said like a lot in this post but just go with it.

mmkay?

uncontrollable chaos

listen here people.
the wheels are falling off.

i'm losing my mind and nothing makes sense around here.

the chaos is no longer controllable.

and why is my blog header cut off?
I can't figure it out and don't have time to.

how am i having a baby in 2.5 weeks?
how have i been pregnant for 37.5 weeks.
and yes, that .5 means a lot at this point in the game.

i have accomplished nothing.
aside from growing this baby
which,
i guess,
is a pretty amazing accomplishment.

i have no bags packed.
no plan for labor.
no car seat.
no coming home outfit.
the pack n play that my sweet pea will sleep in is currently the twins time out spot
and
i have no idea where any of the pack n play sheets are?

i had the sheets washed and folded with fabric softener sheets in between them so they would smell fresh whenever they were unfolded.

and can the poor kid get a name?

i know this really isn't a big deal to some so save your comments telling me i will be fine if i don't name her until she is two days old.
it's just weird?
what if i can't pick a name and then i'm forced to pick one that doesn't feel right because the hospital is pressuring me?

i did buy some newborn diapers last night so she will have 84 diapers which is a start, right?

i wish i nested.
you know, you hear those sweet stories where women just go into this crazy cleaning frenzy so everything is just perfect when the baby comes?

what the heck?

why didn't i get that?
anyone who knows me knows i need all the help i can get in the cleaning department.

and
the twins sure aren't making anything easier.

well,
one twin in particular.

monday was one of the worst days since the twins were born.
i think i cried 17 times.
tuesday i woke up and my eyes were red rimmed and stinging.....still.

colton has taken his clingy-ness to the next level.
he screamed for 2 hours straight and wouldn't stop unless i was holding him
in a blanket
sitting down
on the couch
and talking to him.

which,
i refused to buy into.

so it was either let him be the boss or show him i am boss.
both options sucked but i opted to be boss.
so he followed me around grabbing my legs for two hours.

let me tell you, it was torture.


when we got to swim the rash he had been sporting for a day was in full force.
i took him to the dr and he has......
ready for this?

hand, foot, mouth disease.

so
gross.

we have no idea how he got it
but
he has it.

then,
of course,
i felt guilty for letting him scream for hours
but i was still going insane because
he was still screaming

for hours.
this time, he was inconsolable.

he is getting better but the nasty fungus has temporarily suspended our swim career.
which
is really awesome because they have three weeks left
and i timed it perfectly to be over right before i have another baby.

so everything is just going swell around here and if i make it through the next 3 weeks no one will be more amazed than me.

\but,
before i go,
can i give a shout out to the baby in my belly real quick?

i don't know if you are going to continue being such an angel once you come out
but i can promise you if you are,
you will definitely be my favorite.
like for real.
and for forever.

i can't decide if i just don't have time to succumb to the pains and trials of pregnancy or if you have just been that good to me.

either way,
if you keep this up and sleep like a normal newborn and pretty much do everything opposite of the twins did their first 10 months you will get more toys at christmas
and a car.
when you turn 15 and a half.
and it will be a new car.
and i'll make the twins share a car.
an old car.

and i won't even hide it.
it won't even be our little secret.
i'll tell people openly you're my favorie.

deal?

Wordless-ish Wednesday

These pictures are from my phone. Sorry they are so blurry

Get home from swim.

Put food on the counter for lunch.

Run to the laundry room to put towels and swim diapers in washer.

Come back in the kitchen.

Realize food on the counter can now be reached by nosy and inquisitive twins.

Fine.

You win.

Eat off the floor so I can make lunch in peace and quiet.



Destroy family room in .4 seconds while I pee for the 742nd time today.

Clean up family room lunch mess only to discover twins dancin on the upside down tables in the the living room.


Thank God for nap time.

do you wanna know why?

listen.
i've said it before and i'll say it again.
i am no neat freak.

but

i have a better appreciation for an orderly house since the twins have come along.
i love things neat,
i just don't want to be the one who neatens them.
get it?

the appreciation for a more organized space is more out of necessity versus cleanliness.

i need to know where two pacifiers are at all time because multiple meltdowns ensue around these parts at any given moment. and pacis are a quick fix to me maintaining the shred of sanity i have left.

i need to know where the wipes are
which,
are under the couch teetering the line of reachable/non reachable.
i am too pregnant to be able to lean over and dig deep but too tired to heave this belly up once i've already sat down.
they must remain far enough back to where the twins can't reach them and play one of their favorite games commonly known as "let's empty the wipes container, snack on a few, hide a few and throw the rest like we are celebrating like we are in a greek restaurant".

i need to know where diapers are and where clean sippy cups are and where clean clothes are.
we leave this house in a flash most days to avoid meltdowns that are brimming up about to explode by one of the three of us.
the last one has become tricky because the twins love to empty all of their drawers and throw all their clean clothes on the floor mixing them with the piles of laundry that "i will do that day"
ha.
it is mainly tricky for other people because they don't know what is clean or what is dirty.
one of my husbands pet peeves.
i have decided the best cure is not dressing them unless we leave the house.
easy peasy.
less laundry.

anyways.
you get the point.

i would love a clean house but i am unable to do it.
and i don't get how people do.

for example:
i start each day saying today i will mop.......or........fold laundry........or.........dust.
ha.
let's be honest,
i have probably dusted this house twice.
but sometimes when i see how dusty it is i really do say that in my head.

however,
with great intentions or not,
the following seem to happen rather regularly clouding my ability to clean.

i regularly end up putting everything back in the pantry that the twins have taken out.

or

i have to constantly remove my monkey child from whichever surface he has decided to climb.

                                                                            or dangle from

sometimes i do get the house mopped

but

you would never know because ten minutes later

it is covered in yogurt.

or sometimes

i have to

clean up the bowl of peas that was dumped and somehow made its way into the family room along with the magazine that somehow got shredded.

or plead with the twins that not only is it not a good idea to stand on the table, it is also not good to play with light switches.



sometimes that laundry doesn't get folded because right after i have put the twins down for a nap i find a box of cereal that mysteriously has ended up on the floor instead of in its box.

sometimes i waste twenty minutes walking around the house looking for the charger to the computer because my darling children like to unplug it and hide it.

i guess what i am trying to say is......

matty,

as crazy as the house looks when you get home, know it is a far improvement from where it once was.

p.s. notice how they aren't fully clothed in one single picture?
told you.

***REVISION***

it is now 6:04.
i wrote the above post around 1:00.
i tidied up from 5-5:45.
this place looked good.
well almost good.
the vacuum started smoking.
and being that the twins chase the vacuum with their faces a few inches from it i stopped avoiding what i felt could result in a potential emergency room visit.
 so i only got half of that done
i then cooked dinner while side stepping through these shenanigans.
they did this in 12 minutes.

which of course is when matty got home.

he said "what happened in here? did a bomb go off?"

all while pouring a cocktail and sauntering to a nice warm shower.

alone.

sometimes i think physical violence should be allowed in marriages.

today is one of those days.

Holy Catch Up

Alright
Alright.

I have so much to catch you up on that I don't know where to start.

The truth is???
I just don't feel like blogging. I feel like sleeping.
The twins started swim lessons last week and sitting outside in that heat is exhausting.
I just want to sleep.
That, and the fact that they require six towels each lesson means extra laundry.
I cheat and use four but still, they have lessons five days a week so that means twenty towels a week.
I'm not a good housewife.

Actually

I'm an awesome housewife I just leave a lot to be desired in the cleaning department.
Luckily I am awesome in all other parts so it kinda balances out.
Ya feel me?

Anyway......here is my feeble attempt at catching you up even though I want to be sleeping.

The twins cousins came in town.
How cute is this group?

Although we didn't get to spend too much time together (my cousins were in town and staying with us) we were able to snap a pic.

We celebrated my dad's birthday.

We let the twins have ice cream for the first time.

 This is what happened when ice cream time was declared over.

Luckily, for her, her grandpa is a pushover and let her scrape the plate.
What is it with those Grandparents and sugar?

When she realized there she was unable to get any more on her spoon the meltdown ensued.

She recovered enough to give grandpa a birthday pic with 3/4's of the grand kids. Baby Brandon was home probably sleeping like the little angel he is.

I packed up and headed to my dad's beach condo while dada stayed home, you can read about that here......I'm not ready revisit those memories yet.
You can't tell by these pics but it was a

de·ba·cle

We made it home in one piece with mama vowing not to travel without dada anymore.
Or maybe just not pregnant.
Who knows.
Jury is still out.

Kids just woke up.

To
Be
Continued.

Ohhhhh.
p.s. - we only have 6 more weeks until baby number three. 6 more weeks.
I find that comical.
In six or seven or probably eight weeks I will have three kids.
And no, she doesn't have a name yet.

i lied

i really had great intentions to blog last week but let's be honest, i haven't even done last weeks laundry.
i'm out of sippy cups and finally decided to wrangle all the stragglers the twins hide around the house and get them in the dishwasher.
i'm tired, man.
the twins have started swim lessons so we have that every.day and that sun gets me.
i guess i just came to complain and make excuses as to why i haven't blogged.
tomorrow i will pry my eyelids open during nap time and keep them away from the casey anthony trial to blog.

xo and i'm glad ya'll still check this lil ole blog.

steady streamin'

i'm way behind around here.

and once you stop blogging it's hard to just jump back in.

we had family staying with us last week and then i went to my dad's beach condo.

things i learned:
don't take 14 month old twins to the beach by yourself.
make sure you scan the beach for a jellyfish infestation before you let your babies out of the stroller.

if you need to know what to do when your babies try to eat jellyfish, call me, i now know.
yes the twins ate jellyfish.
yes both of them.

they were dying on the sand.
the jellyfish,
not the twins.

yes they got stung.
yes it was miserable.
the good news is that since the jellyfish were dying/dead the poison wasn't as potent?

i need to contact my dad's condo hoa and ask them to remove the stairs and install a ramp.....pulling/pushing the stroller up and down the stairs for the beach access is redic.....especially eight months pregnant.
i thought my baby was going to fall out.
and it was hot.

i have eight more weeks with this baby in my belly.....which, let's be honest, means she will probably be here in ten.

i go to the doctor and hope he tells me i am already dilating.

they won't even check. i know that. but a girl can dream.

this pregnancy couldn't have gone any easier.

i kind of knew it would because after being pregnant with twins how couldn't it be?

i think that is why this poor baby girl hasn't gotten much face time on the blizog.
after a day at busch gardens or the zoo i feel really pregnant but other than that sometimes i forget.

i had pregnancy insomnia with the twins and i have it this time too.

not being able to sleep when you're exhausted is exhausting.

and not fair.

i wake up every night around midnight and 2:15.

that's in addition to all the other times i have to get up to pee.

in ten weeks i will have three children under the age of one and a half. that's insane.

yes i am terrified.

i don't know how i am going to survive.

my daughter has turned into a bully.

she hits and pinches.

today at target i took away a shoe from her as we were leaving and she poked me in the eye, smacked me in the face, pulled my hair so hard it came out of my rubber band and pinched me.....all while gritting her teeth and shaking.

what the heck is that?

she looked psycho.

i wanted to laugh so hard but i was so mad at the same time.

she is so cute that she can kinda pull off crazy. kind of like me.

don't worry, i laid down the law and we are currently working on her physical aggression.

in cuter news she now says bubba and gets all shy and flirty and uhhhhhdorable when she looks at him.

you'd die.

they both say baby when they see babies. again, uhhhdorable.

they both yell bye with the cutest southern twang......even when they have no intention of going anywhere.

even though they are the cutest twins on the earth they are kinda making me crazy.

i need a break. or a vacation. or just a day without them.

they have such strong personalities and they gang up on me.

i don't know if it is because i am pregnant or not but sometimes i want to throw them across the room....maybe more like lightly toss.

nope, that's a lie. sometimes i want to throw them.

i just hope they both have twins so they can be paid back. and i can laugh.

and i've kind of learned lately how much difference a baby's demeanor can make.

for example, i have tried to turn my kids into tv junkies. they will watch yo gabba gabba for about four minutes then it's time to do something else.

they are both stubborn and high energy and demanding and determined and any other adjective that are synonyms for the aforementioned.

so, if i had tv junkie kids that just sat for ten minutes maybe twins wouldn't be so tough? i'll never know.

i can't wait to have a fruity summer cocktail. ten more weeks. ten more weeks.

we still haven't picked a name.

i don't even know if we're close.

we might be those parents who still don't have a name when the baby is born.

i'm weirdly ok with that.

i am the kind of person that knows what she wants immediately.

and i know what i want but my husband won't oblige.

i'm not giving up.

i got serious and asked what needed to happen for me to get my way.

he said nothing.

he obviously isn't too good of a negotiator......or he really just doesn't want the name.

that's what's going on around here.

stay tuned.......i'm back on track.

xo