Thursday, June 23, 2011

do you wanna know why?

i've said it before and i'll say it again.
i am no neat freak.


i have a better appreciation for an orderly house since the twins have come along.
i love things neat,
i just don't want to be the one who neatens them.
get it?

the appreciation for a more organized space is more out of necessity versus cleanliness.

i need to know where two pacifiers are at all time because multiple meltdowns ensue around these parts at any given moment. and pacis are a quick fix to me maintaining the shred of sanity i have left.

i need to know where the wipes are
are under the couch teetering the line of reachable/non reachable.
i am too pregnant to be able to lean over and dig deep but too tired to heave this belly up once i've already sat down.
they must remain far enough back to where the twins can't reach them and play one of their favorite games commonly known as "let's empty the wipes container, snack on a few, hide a few and throw the rest like we are celebrating like we are in a greek restaurant".

i need to know where diapers are and where clean sippy cups are and where clean clothes are.
we leave this house in a flash most days to avoid meltdowns that are brimming up about to explode by one of the three of us.
the last one has become tricky because the twins love to empty all of their drawers and throw all their clean clothes on the floor mixing them with the piles of laundry that "i will do that day"
it is mainly tricky for other people because they don't know what is clean or what is dirty.
one of my husbands pet peeves.
i have decided the best cure is not dressing them unless we leave the house.
easy peasy.
less laundry.

you get the point.

i would love a clean house but i am unable to do it.
and i don't get how people do.

for example:
i start each day saying today i will mop.......or........fold laundry........or.........dust.
let's be honest,
i have probably dusted this house twice.
but sometimes when i see how dusty it is i really do say that in my head.

with great intentions or not,
the following seem to happen rather regularly clouding my ability to clean.

i regularly end up putting everything back in the pantry that the twins have taken out.

i have to constantly remove my monkey child from whichever surface he has decided to climb.

                                                                            or dangle from

sometimes i do get the house mopped
you would never know because ten minutes later
it is covered in yogurt.

or sometimes
i have to
clean up the bowl of peas that was dumped and somehow made its way into the family room along with the magazine that somehow got shredded.

or plead with the twins that not only is it not a good idea to stand on the table, it is also not good to play with light switches.

sometimes that laundry doesn't get folded because right after i have put the twins down for a nap i find a box of cereal that mysteriously has ended up on the floor instead of in its box.

sometimes i waste twenty minutes walking around the house looking for the charger to the computer because my darling children like to unplug it and hide it.

i guess what i am trying to say is......

as crazy as the house looks when you get home, know it is a far improvement from where it once was.

p.s. notice how they aren't fully clothed in one single picture?
told you.


it is now 6:04.
i wrote the above post around 1:00.
i tidied up from 5-5:45.
this place looked good.
well almost good.
the vacuum started smoking.
and being that the twins chase the vacuum with their faces a few inches from it i stopped avoiding what i felt could result in a potential emergency room visit.
 so i only got half of that done
i then cooked dinner while side stepping through these shenanigans.
they did this in 12 minutes.

which of course is when matty got home.
he said "what happened in here? did a bomb go off?"
all while pouring a cocktail and sauntering to a nice warm shower.
sometimes i think physical violence should be allowed in marriages.

today is one of those days.


  1. In one single blog you have made me feel 10x better about my to do list that never get done. Thanks for teaching me that I need to let go because this is the norm! :-)

  2. HA! Marissa, this is great! I always see these posts, but they won't come up on my phone. You put a smile on my face!! Husbands just don't understand!!

  3. I'm not married to him... You want me to punch him?

  4. you are hilarious and if i were a lesbian i would want to marry you. xo