Sunday, July 17, 2011

stratton, party of four

believe it or not i have 4 blogs in draft that i have started to write this week.
i thought if i plowed through eventually at least one of them would come together.
obviously, they didn't.
so there they will sit until i am feeling them.
i need to blog about fathers day.
i need to blog about my fishees and how they are learning to swim.
i need to blog about the beautiful sprinkle my family and friend threw for this sweet baby girl who does gymnastics in my belly all night long.

all of those are happy things and i have been feeling so emo this week so i can't give them the vibe that i feel that they deserve.

the truth is this baby is coming soon.
like for real.
like 15 days soon.

and i am scared.

it is a weird feeling bringing another baby into your family when you have
two babies that are still,
at least they are to me.
the twins turned 16 months last week.

i find myself being even more mamma bear and protective over the them now.
they have had me all to themselves for 16 months.
and colton is so needy.
such a mamma's boy.

i feel like we're bringing a puppy home.
you know you are going to love the puppy
and that the puppy will be a part of your family.
and you know in a few short days after that puppy is home you will be saying things like
"i just can't remember life before this puppy"
"this puppy is the greatest thing to happen to this family"
"with this puppy, our family feels complete"
but still, you can't help but wonder how it will be in the interim.
for the twins.
and to be honest,
for me.

i know it's me.
i know the twins will be fine without me for a few days
i will miss them.
like a lot.
i get teary just thinking about how their life is going to be uprooted.
all while i'm not even there to hold them and tell them how my love for them won't change
in fact, it will grow watching them begin love my sweet pea as much as i do.
and i know even if i did get deep with them they wouldn't understand
that they wouldn't even sit still long enough for me to get the first sentence out.

but right now, i'm anxious about properly adjusting our lives to accommodate a third child.

the twins jump on me like i'm a playground apparatus (sorry baby number three)
and we won't be able to rough house for a while.
and i won't be able to throw them up in the air
run around and chase them.
and hello
i'm bringing home a new
to stay.
and i'm going to have to be mean because i won't allow them to beat up on her for at least like 2 weeks.
by then i'll be too tired and she will just have to fend for herself.

and to make matters more difficult, my twinnies have been so good this week.
almost throwing it in my face like...

are you suuuuuure you want to stay in the hospital and leave us for days and bring home a new little girl
 for us to live with

i feel like there is more we should be doing together.
like qt stuff.
these are our last couple weeks as
stratton, party of four.

so i'm probably going to spoil them for the next two weeks.
like a lot.
maybe we'll have ice cream for breakfast one day.

maybe that will make me feel better.

i just love you sweet babies and trust me, another sibling is one of the greatest gifts you will ever receive.
i know,
i'm lucky to be one of five and they are my best friends.
all of them.
hang in there.
things will get back to normal.....well, our new normal shortly.
mommy loves you more than you know.

and p to the s,
dad, i know i said like a lot in this post but just go with it.


  1. I love you. I love you honestly. I love your humor. I love you babies, all three. Things will look different in two months, promise. Life will go on and those twinks will know no different, promise. Cross my heart!

    Love love love you. You are a wonderful, caring, and loving Momma Bear.

  2. The fact that you are even worried about it shows that you will take the time to figure out how to love each child individually. You sound like a wonderful mom and your love for your kids is evident. Congrats on that sweet baby! The twins are gonna love her/him!

  3. I just read about your blog on True Love Found. I had boy/girl twins when my oldest was 22 months. They are now 9, 7 and 7.

    It is definitely a crazy time that only someone else in the same situation can understand. But, you will get through it and you babies will be very close.

    The younger years are crazy exhausting and seem long at the time. But the years go by quickly and before you know it they are not babies anymore. The best part is when they get older, they are doing the same things. You are not trying to juggle older kid activities and younger kid activities. It is one for all and all for one!

    You will do great and they will love each other!

  4. Amy sent me. This is a blog I should be reading, what a breath of fresh reality :) I am 3 months pregnant with my second child. My first little dude is just 15 months old now. I have thoughts all the time of how the heck I will handle a newborn and a 21 month old. I will get through it as you do, chin up (mostly), sense of humor turned on (even if it's through tears), and with the help of my guy (even if he sleeps through all those nursing sessions). It will all work out as it should. Your twins will love that little "puppy" as their own. What joy your house will see. Best of luck in spoiling those guys over the next two weeks. And hey, ice cream for breakfast: hey, it's got fruit and milk in it right? maybe even an egg or two.... sounds like breakfast to me!!

  5. Since I have no children I can only offer a story once told to me by my aunt (a mother of 7 plus me): She likened it to a new job (you know how you get nervous before starting?). After a few months, it's like you've been doing it for forever. I always thought it was the best analogy. So, you're just starting a new job - you were hired cause you already have experience (twins...if that's not experience, I don't know what is) and you were the best at what you do. Since you were a good mommy before, you'll be a better one now. Hope this helps.


  6. I totally related with your post. I am also a mamma of 3...4 yr old boy/girl twins and a 2 yr old "baby." I got pregnant with the baby when my twins were 14 months old and was in total shock. I went through all of those feelings you have. Actually, I tended to focus on some of the more basic things like what kind of stroller am I going to use? Where is this baby going to sleep...I mean, how am I going to sleep with 3 little ones who aren't sleeping through the night? How am I going to potty train the twins with a newborn baby in my arms? All I can say is, it's going to be alright. You will love all 3- and they will all be unique and you'll have to relate to them all in different ways. It's challenging (I'm a stay at home mom) but I love it- I love my children and now that the fog has cleared, can better faces those challenges that they present to me each day with a smile. You will too!

  7. Aww Maris, I remember feeling so emotional about Jenna in the weeks leading up to B's delivery. She had me all to herself for 6 years! It was a bit easier because she did understand what was happening, unlike the twins, but she was also old enough to express her anxious feelings in words, which was sometimes hard to hear. I spoiled her rotten leading up to B, and personally I wish now that I had not. She went from Mama spoiling her 24/7 to no Mama for 4 days/3 nights, and then a tired, distracted Mama for the next 6 weeks. We all have to figure it out, and you will too, I promise. The twinks know how much you love them, and they will continue to know that when Sweet Pea is here. It is perfectly normal to be nervous and in a few weeks you won't be able to remember what life was like before Sweet Pea, just as remembering life before the twins is hard to do now. Hang in there. We love the Stratton Family, both Party of 4 and Party of 5. Love you! xoxo

  8. This is just what I needed to hear right now... As a mom of a 15 month old and now 5 months pregnant with my second boy, I needed to know that I'm not crazy for having this insane guilt and desire to spoil him before the new baby comes. I am an only child so I have no point of reference and my husband thinks I'm insane for feeling this way as he is one of four and knows the bond between siblings. My mother-in-law told me that my love will multiply not divide and that has stuck with me when I feel like it couldn't be possible to love anyone else as much as my little boy. Thank you thank you thank you for making me feel normal!! Good luck and congratulations on your sweet little girl.