uncontrollable chaos

listen here people.
the wheels are falling off.

i'm losing my mind and nothing makes sense around here.

the chaos is no longer controllable.

and why is my blog header cut off?
I can't figure it out and don't have time to.

how am i having a baby in 2.5 weeks?
how have i been pregnant for 37.5 weeks.
and yes, that .5 means a lot at this point in the game.

i have accomplished nothing.
aside from growing this baby
which,
i guess,
is a pretty amazing accomplishment.

i have no bags packed.
no plan for labor.
no car seat.
no coming home outfit.
the pack n play that my sweet pea will sleep in is currently the twins time out spot
and
i have no idea where any of the pack n play sheets are?

i had the sheets washed and folded with fabric softener sheets in between them so they would smell fresh whenever they were unfolded.

and can the poor kid get a name?

i know this really isn't a big deal to some so save your comments telling me i will be fine if i don't name her until she is two days old.
it's just weird?
what if i can't pick a name and then i'm forced to pick one that doesn't feel right because the hospital is pressuring me?

i did buy some newborn diapers last night so she will have 84 diapers which is a start, right?

i wish i nested.
you know, you hear those sweet stories where women just go into this crazy cleaning frenzy so everything is just perfect when the baby comes?

what the heck?

why didn't i get that?
anyone who knows me knows i need all the help i can get in the cleaning department.

and
the twins sure aren't making anything easier.

well,
one twin in particular.

monday was one of the worst days since the twins were born.
i think i cried 17 times.
tuesday i woke up and my eyes were red rimmed and stinging.....still.

colton has taken his clingy-ness to the next level.
he screamed for 2 hours straight and wouldn't stop unless i was holding him
in a blanket
sitting down
on the couch
and talking to him.

which,
i refused to buy into.

so it was either let him be the boss or show him i am boss.
both options sucked but i opted to be boss.
so he followed me around grabbing my legs for two hours.

let me tell you, it was torture.


when we got to swim the rash he had been sporting for a day was in full force.
i took him to the dr and he has......
ready for this?

hand, foot, mouth disease.

so
gross.

we have no idea how he got it
but
he has it.

then,
of course,
i felt guilty for letting him scream for hours
but i was still going insane because
he was still screaming

for hours.
this time, he was inconsolable.

he is getting better but the nasty fungus has temporarily suspended our swim career.
which
is really awesome because they have three weeks left
and i timed it perfectly to be over right before i have another baby.

so everything is just going swell around here and if i make it through the next 3 weeks no one will be more amazed than me.

\but,
before i go,
can i give a shout out to the baby in my belly real quick?

i don't know if you are going to continue being such an angel once you come out
but i can promise you if you are,
you will definitely be my favorite.
like for real.
and for forever.

i can't decide if i just don't have time to succumb to the pains and trials of pregnancy or if you have just been that good to me.

either way,
if you keep this up and sleep like a normal newborn and pretty much do everything opposite of the twins did their first 10 months you will get more toys at christmas
and a car.
when you turn 15 and a half.
and it will be a new car.
and i'll make the twins share a car.
an old car.

and i won't even hide it.
it won't even be our little secret.
i'll tell people openly you're my favorie.

deal?