who are you people?

the other morning, around 9:30, i was already done for the day.

so i fished the four day old sippy cup of milk out of stella's mouth,
handed the twins popsicles for breakfast
and we all hit the back porch so i could relax
without my floors getting stick-ier.
sticky would insinuate that they weren't sticky already.
if there is one thing my husband can't stand? it's sticky floors.
and there was no way i was going to waste a good mop job at 9:30.

i am seeing way too much good parenting going on around these days.
it is not only depressing but mind boggling as well.

listen.
listen!

who are you people with these summer bucket lists for your adorable children?

what am i missing?
i don't understand.

how do you have time
or more importantly,
energy for such things?

hommeade play dough?
why don't your kids eat it?
or throw it?
or feed it to the baby?
or is that why it's hommeade?
so they can eat it?

sensory boxes?
don't they just get dumped?

paint chip scavanger hunts?
huh?

what am i missing?

any spare time or extra energy i have around here is typically spent wiping.
a body
a surface
sweat off my brow.


and don't these activities taking longer to make than they do to execute?
my children have the attention span of a two year old. because they are two!

and it's not just one or two of you.
i am seeing it a lot.

help me understand.

or
are you guys just smart?
and pinning things that you really have no intention of doing?

honestly?
most of my children's activities have to somehow benefit me.
for example, we clean up to the clean up song and throw in a dance party.
fun and functional.
for all parties.

they frolic about in the pool, i work on my tan.
win-win.

get with the program, people. help yourselves, too.

seriously,
you guys can continue with all of this nonsense.
but,
if your kids
become friends with my kids
you better have them keep their mouths shut.

what my kids don't know won't hurt them.