life lately

hi guys.
that's the twins new fav. go to.
oh man, you should hear it!

i've missed you!
the twins broke my dc jack on my laptop. i didn't know what a dc jack was up until two weeks ago.
now i know.
and i know replacing it is something that is more expensive than i would like for it to be.

so, because i love you all so much, i told matt i had a lot of important business to tend to.
i said that i needed his computer.
i did that just so i could write to you.
i felt you missing me.
and take comfort in knowing that the feeling is mutual.

now i will attempt to quickly catch you up.
you know there will be nothing quick about that, don't you?

currently obsessed with:
big kids with real names:
colton and chloe have started calling each other by their actual names.
"ka-oh-ee" and 'koh-tin"
i die a little bit
every
single
time.
"bubba" and "coco" are still lingering but they are fading right along with our "florida winter."

the girl twin calling for her bubba:
colton always falls asleep first.
as soon as he falls asleep, chloe yells at the top of her lungs....
"bubba, whea aww youuuu?!"

stella being a piggy:
if you say "stella, where's my piggy?"
she wrinkles her little nose and inhalesexhalesinhalesexhales.
i cried the first time she did it.
true story.
it's that cute.

two-year-olds:
the twins are cracking me up these days.
thank god they got my sense of humor.
the stuff that comes out of their mouths is redic and i invite all of you to come over and experience it first hand.
no really, i do.i'll run to publix while you're here. just real quick.

undies:
butt cheeks in big kid undies have officially replaced my obsession with babies in jammies.
there is nothing cuter than my twins in undies.
nothing.

counting down:
right now we are at 17 days.
in 17 days i will be soaking up the sun in the bahamas.
with girls.
just girls.
deeeeep breath. can't wait.

watermelon pictures:
what is it that makes kids eating watermelon so adorable?
i don't even like watermelon but my kids do. and i have 4,642 pictures to prove it.
but i can't show you any.
because my computer is broken!

stella's smile:
i promise you.
no baby smiles as much as stella.
her smile is infectious. and contagious.
she can stop a twin dead in their meltdown tracks by simply smiling.
you can't not smile back.
sweet pea, stella, you are such a blessing.

chicken wings:
if you know me, you know they are my favorite food.
i keep it classy around here. raw oysters, wings, crab legs and an ice cold stella. that would be my last last meal.
however, things have escalated up in he-ya.
the good news? i have been opting for grilled chicky in hot sauce over a salad. i know! go me!
i have to be in a bathing suit.
in the bahamas.
i can't stop thinking about wings. i have had them twice in the past week and might have them again.
tonight.
whatever.

learned recently:
cleaning poop off a mattress is harder than i thought:
the twins lost sheet privileges months ago. they took their sheets off every nap/night so i decided they were done.
they sleep on bare mattresses.
yeah, i said it, bare mattresses.
not only can they not take their sheets off anymore. they also have more street cred while trying to be hood.
they can say things like "yo, i didn't even have sheets growing up."
and they will be telling the truth.
that is until today, when colton took his clothes off and pooped for the 5,742nd time.
i learned taking a sheet off and washing it, is a lot easier than sanitizing and cleaning a mattress.
tonight? they are no longer hood. sheets are back.

laundry is doable:
i bought 100 hangers at ikea yesterday. laundry is far more manageable when you have enough hangers for your kids clothes.

genius hanger find:
i learned that those cute little pink and blue hangers for babies are only cute in theory.
they out grow them quickly.
ikea childrens hangers are where it's at.
especially if you have ocd and boy/girl twins.
you see, prior to my genius ikea find, i had to hang all of coco's clothes on pink and all of bubba's clothes on blue.
if i ran out of pink for coco? i set the clothes aside.
her clothes had to be on pink. and his on blue.
now, with the ikea hangers, anything goes.
they're multi-color! multi-color i tell you!
now? i just hang away.

i learned i officially need to win the lottery.

independence:
i learned that letting the twins buckle themselves in their car seats adds about 7 minutes to every trip we take. one way, that is. 14 minutes round trip
that said, hearing them both exclaim "i deee it!" is worth approximately 1,2 million dollars.
the way i see it is, if i can make 1.2 mil for 7 minutes of wasting time?
i end up ahead.
every time i start the car, i have a smile on my face.

reality:
i've learned i don't care to live in it. i continue to buy the twins clothes that are too small in hopes that it keeps them little.
it doesn't.
i'm not done trying, though.

i have so much more to tell you people. so i should just stop now. i get my computer back tomorrow so it's back to business.

xoxo

growin' up.

The twins are spending this week like every other spring breaker.
Half naked and overindulging.

Wait,
mom and dad, I can assure you that is not how I spent any of my spring breaks.
Ever.

We are potty training.
And when I say we, I mean me.
I am potty training two kids at the same time.

We are two days in.
So far, it is the easiest form of teaching/training I have had to do with these two.
Yes, I am as shocked as you are.
And yes, I realize I probably will be eating those words tonight.

Cross your fingers for me.

mickey pawty, anna minnie pawty, too.

if you asked the twins about their birthday they would say:
"i una have a mickey pawty." and the other twin would say "anna minnie pawty, too."
or vice versa.

in fact, if you ask colton how old he is he says "mickey mouse."
this is what i've heard from those silly twins for the past month.
and boy did we have a mickey party. anna minnie party, too.

i started a long time ago.
because i wanted to craft. and i have three babies.
or, i had three babies.
up until friday.
now i have twin toddlers and a baby.

the twins are mildly obsessed with "mickey mouse clubhouse."
and when i say mildly, i mean not mildly.

so,
we settled on a mickey and minnie
"hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog party."

i knew i would have to get creative with their invites because surely my husband wouldn't let a bow ride on colton's invite.

and minnie couldn't get screwed and not get her bow, right?

so i took a chance.
and crossed my fingers that people would actually flip it over.

i told my mom what i wanted and she made it happen.
and i ran out of put together invites so i had to slap these together for a pic.

don't worry, i glued the real ones down and didn't send out these floppy looking ones.

voila.

we obviously had to have a dog maker.
i looked into renting one but after a little craigslist searchin' i am now the proud owner of one.
you're jealous, i know.

we made it extra classy by adding sauerkraut and chili.
what?
that doesn't make it classy?

i realized right when every one got there that i hadn't taken pictures so these are out of focus, rushed and not so great.

sigh.

i knew i should have done it earlier but, i mean, let's be honest, i had just started flat ironing my hair when people were arriving.

i pinned a paper chain pic on pinterest and decided i would use that for my backdrop.
time consuming?
yes.
pretty?
indeed.

our air conditioning broke the day before the party.
yup.
why wouldn't it.
so i was hot and mildly sweaty.

the twins are still talking about their pawty and they miss the "bow how" desperately.

every day they run outside and say "bow how, bow how."

poor babes.

next year. next year.

we had a blast.

i'll do a more in depth post about the deets and how i saved a bajillion dollars later.

or i probably won't.

but, know that i did save a bajillion dollars.

i two, too

two years ago i was in the doctors office hoping i was at least two centimeters dilated.
i wasn't.

i was thirty eight weeks and two days.
i would have to wait one more day to meet you. and to hold you. and to feel you. and to smell you.

two babies were in my belly and i was beyond ready to meet them.

two babies
divided my one heart
and those two babies stole it to have and to hold forever.

i have spent the last two years waching the two of you in amazement.

in thirty two hours, you will both be two.

you will never, ever know what you have done to me.
you bring me such raw and pure joy. you give me purpose. it is such a pleasure to love you.
and an honor to parent you.
even when you are up to no good.

we currently have the following conversations daily:
colton: "i havin a mickey party." chloe: "anna minnie party, too."
one twin: "inna snack." other twin: "inna snack, too."
one twin: "i luh you, mommy." one twin: "mommy, i luh you, too."


the two of you have such alluring spirits. you bring people in. you captivate them. and i love to watch you work your magic.

there are too many things i love about both of you for me to list here.

just know that i will love you. and i will support you forever. and there is nothing you could do to change that.


it is mind blowing to me how being blessed with life's
biggest
miracle can make you feel so
small.

being your mother is humbling.
it's beautiful
it's challenging.
it's the greatest thing i will ever know.
and i want to thank you for letting me be yours.

so not ok

this is so not ok.

she is a baby, people, a baby.

speaking of babies, i'll tell you what is ok....

my littlest sister is having another one.

more babies?

why yes,

i am in heaven,

thanks for asking.

and how about this little edible confection of sugary delight?

my nephew, brandon. yummy.

if they sold him in a bakery?

i would buy a dozen.

that is all.
wednesday is supposed to be wordless, afterall.

726

I have had 726 days to prepare for this.
In 4 days my twins will be 730 days old.

That's 2 years old for you non math majors.

726 days wasn't enough.

They are little people now.
Their gummy smiles are long gone and their mouths are full of teeth.
Their indescribable baby soft skin has been replaced with scrapes and bruises.
Their baby bald heads are full of hair.
Their little baby fingers are now their greatest tools for exploration. Or mischief, rather.
And their ridiculously fast feet are a close second.
The baby babble that used to flee their mouths has quickly morphed into adult-like sentences.

I know sometimes I give them a bad wrap
but,
they are my angel babies.
They are my heart.
They are my life.


At least their actual birthday is at 11:35 and 11:40 pm.
So they can be 1 all day Friday.

My stomach hurts knowing I am going to have to say they are 2 years old on Saturday.