Wednesday, February 29, 2012

catastrophe of sorts.

remember me?
i write this blog.

i've been disconnected.
from you.
from the internet.
from the world.
from fb.

i know what you're thinking.
you finally realized what is important in life.
it's being present.
it's living in the moment.
it's drinking up my children like a tall glass of lemonade. in a mason jar. with one of those cute striped paper straws.

nah so much.

i was doing laundry.
the twins got into a gallon jug of bubble solution.
they climbed on a table to climb on another table to reach it.
and got it open.
and dumped it on themselves and sweet baby stella.

all three started crying.
because, duh,
it got in their mouths.
and their eyes.

and bubble solution is disgusting.
you would think that they would have realized that by now
being that they somehow manage to drink it every other day.
but, no.
no, they haven't.

i swooped in.
kissed their faces as they blew bubbles out of their mouth. with actual bubble solution.
but, when i realized they had involved my cell phone in their shenanigans? i was pissed.
i don't even know how they got it.
but, because i am a good mom, i tossed the phone in the laundry basket filled with dirty laundry
(i know, you now know where this is going) and tended to sweet stella.
because she didn't have a say so in the matter.
she was bouncing away like a good little girl and bam! a bubble bath with actual bubbles.
oy vey.

after all 4,247 of my kids were happy and smiling again i continued along with my wifely duties.
and ten minutes into the cycle the loud thumping in my washing machine was annoying me.
she was in there.

my phone was gone.
and shortly after, my computer crashed.
and the family room tv wouldn't turn on.

so, after four xanax and a glass of wine i came to terms with the fact that i was officially disconnected.
i'm kidding.
about the xanax.
and about coming to terms with being disconnected.
i never came to terms with it.

i woke up the next morning.
panicked all over again and reached for my phone to see what time the library opened.
no phone.
i'll do it the hard way and actually get on the computer.
it is broken.

my heart started beating faster.

so i regrouped.
and decided i would act like one of those people who chooses to do this on a regular basis.
i don't know why you people choose such horror, but, i decided i would be one of you.
for as little as possible.

so we went to the library.
and i didn't check fb at a red light. because i couldn't.

instead i used that time to tell the twins over and over how the library is a quiet place.
and that we needed to respect that, and the other people in library.
they said they understood. all was well until we got to the kids section and chloe saw a

"giwaaaaaafffe! a giwwafffe, mommy!
loooooook a giwwwaffffeee!"

they had huge animals on top of the bookcases and chloe lost it.
luckily, she is so freakin' cute that most people just smiled.

these pictures depict a quiet and peaceful trip to the library.
these pictures are liars.

she found a book about "fwamingoes." and decided to show mommy how "fwamingoes" stand.
nice form, chlo, nice form.

and bubba found this. no lie.
and now they say "weah tweeins"
and my heart shatters into a million pieces.
it really is the cutest thing you have ever heard.

and then we came home and busted out the sprinkler.
because, what else do you do in february in tampa?
now you will see a lot of pictures.
that is
frankly, i have the cutest son that has ever walked the face of this earth.

coco sat on my lap the whole time because the water "is too cole mommy"
she started talking like a big girl monday.
in long adult like sentences.
but, i couldn't tell you because i was disconnected.
so here is a cute photo of her foot to make up for my stupidity.

my phone checked in the freezer for a one night stay after checking out of a bag of rice for a one night stay.
who knows if it will work.
until then?
i have an old phone.
blech. whatever. i can hit send and talk to a human.

and my bro-in-law, uncle nicky, is a techie genius so he was able to walk me through fixing my computer.

and matty got the tv fixed.

so all is well in my world again.

now, the important part.
what did i learn about being disconnected?
doing laundry makes bad things happen.
and being disconnected?
it sucks.
actually, it sucks worse than i thought it would.
i thought about/reached for/cried about my phone a lot. maybe that is an exaggeration.
disconnecting is not for me and i don't care to do it ever again.

unless i am, like, laying on a yacht. sipping chamapagne. with fabulous people. in the middle of ocean. in the bahamas.

which is actually happening people!

fo real, doe.
in april.
a legit girls weekend.

but, luckily one of those fabulous people is amy, of buggie and jellybean. and i know she has no interest in being disconnected, either.

now, hopefully disconnecting from the kitchen will be easier than disconnecting from technology.
cuz mama's got a bathing suit to get into!


  1. you are seriously funny. glad everything is working again. i don't know how you made it w/out fb. i think i would die. how else would i know what everyone was doing? and how can i function if i don't know that some girl i went to high school with 10 years ago just ate lunch? seriously though, i am mega jealous of your trip. hope you have a great time!

  2. Your posts are awesome. The way you put your posts together is just awesome. You are funny. I love it. I love the pictures too. That boy is pretty cute!!