You must have your hands full and other things I hear every day of my life....

Ok, I get it, there is something intriguing about twins. I, too, before having twins was fascinated with twins but not nearly to the extent that some people I have encountered. It really is amazing what some people ask, advise or just comment with no shame. Here are the most popular and a few of my favs.

You must have your hands full.......this is by far the most popular. I mean, I understand what people are trying to say but it amazes me that everyone uses the exact same phrase! This along with "better you than me", "is it hard?", "do you ever get to sleep" and "how do you do it" are what we twin moms hear on the reg. The truth is YES, it probably is better me than you, YES, it's extremely hard, and NO, I don't ever get sleep......but we'll get to that. They do make me want to pull my hair out and drink more than I already do but, they are really cute so today I think I'm going to keep them around for a while. Tomorrow? Could be a whole new ball game and they may or may not be listed on Craigslist.

Are they twins?: I mean people ask it more often than not. Really? Next comes - boy/girl? When I reply yes, amazingly what usually follows is are they identical?
They can't be identical.
Boys and girls can't be identical.
What makes them boys and girls is what makes them unable to be identical.

After that comes "they don't look alike" or "they look exactly alike, maybe they are identical" ummmm? A lot of times I say maybe, and just keep walking. It's a lot easier than giving them a biology lesson.

Make sure you sleep when they sleep: Ummmmm right. Like, I almost can't even comment on this one.

Side note: My dad is going to be so mad I started that sentence with like but I just feel like that's how it has to start dad so move on mkay?

I literally have probably had 15 naps in the 7 months I have had these twins. I can't explain why or how but it just can't happen. It doesn't happen. IF on the rare occasion they do sleep at the same time by the time I pee and get a cup of water and maybe get a load of laundry in the washing machine one of them is usually up. Now, in fairness, my mother says my kids are completely abnormal in the sleep department. They kind of don't, sleep, that is. I just feel like I'm done with this one so lets move along shall we? It just doesn't work.

I bet if you BLANK they will BLANK: Don't get me wrong, I am wide open to suggestions but there comes a point where I know my kids better than you and that's just how it is. A lot of times this comes from parents of singletons (yup, learned that term when I was pregnant with twins) or even more hysterically from people who don't have kids at all. Pretty funny, huh?

The following are my favorites......the absolutely inappropriate ones....
Did you have help? Meaning, IVF. Answer - no. There are no twins in either side of our families. Ok, actually there are but lemme explain. My cousins are twins but their mother has twins in her family and I am not blood related to her. Get it? My husband always says "why do you always feel the need to add that" well, because I feel like I have to even though it's not relevant because it doesn't increase my chance for having twins. My doctor described it best when she said it has to start somewhere and in your family, it started with you. Interesting side note - fraternal twins are only genetic on the mothers side. That may or may not be true, someone told me that so whatev - I'm going with it.

Did you have a C Section? No. I didn't want to and I was very clear about that with every doctor I saw and luckily my doctor was very respectful of that in the delivery room. You have to birth twins in the operating room because there is a very good chance you will end up with a C section......even after you had the first one the other way. I mean I don't want to get to gross here so you get it, right? At the last minute Colton kind of flipped sideways but my doctor literally hopped on me and worked him down??? So weird. But, it all worked out and there was no section over here folks.

Do you nurse? I mean who asks this?! The answer is yes and maybe I will address those issues in another post just because I feel like I could help some peeps. Oh a few people have actually asked me how much weight I gained!!! And one woman asked me how much I had lost when the twins were 3 months old in the middle of the grocery store. I mean, when you think it couldn't get crazier, it does.

I'm sure I have missed a bunch worth mentioning but this twin mamma is using the rest of her down time for a bubble bath and glass of wine.