The Little Mermaid

Ok, you all know how we played the name game.
We had a very difficult time sealing the deal.

Matt joked while I was in labor that we were going to name her after our favorite nurse.

In fact, when Stella came out one of the first things the doctor and nurses said was

"well, what are you going to name her?"

We have it on video.

Us naming her.

I want to watch it, I haven't seen it yet.

Matt and I spent the night at the beach a few weeks before Stella was born.

I took a long nap in a dark, cold, quiet room and thought how awesome would it be to take the baby's newborn pictures on the beach?

It seemed different.

And that's what I was going for.

Then, I remembered that we had talked about Maris being an option for a middle name.

You can read about that here.

It means sea.

And Stella means star.

So her name means star of the sea.

So, I thought, if we name her Stella Maris I was absolutely going to do her newborn shots on the beach.

And then

coincidentally

my cousin-in-law who I just call my cousin,

Amy, who adorably blogs here, sent me a picture of a crocheted mermaid tail.

Ummmm what???

Was she reading my mind?

The tail was so cute it made me want to name her Stella Maris just so the shoot would have more meaning.

So I did.

Not just for the pictures.....well maybe just a little bit.

Ya'll know I do pretty much anything for a good picture.

Next, enter Mark, my uncle-in-law who is an amazing photographer.

After lots of idea bouncing we had a plan.

And whoa.
It worked.

Here are baby Stella's newborn pics.  

And I'm in love.

This poor baby got roughed up during the shoot.
Her daddy was having a heart attack at some of our ideas so we saved the shots where she got soaking wet in the freezing cold water for when he took the twins to the car.

Oops.
I told you I would do anything for a good pic. But even I wasn't expecting that wave.
I was watching her and it came out of nowhere.

I kept telling her she would appreciate me when she had the coolest newborn pictures to put in her graduation party slide show.

But,
even I felt bad when she got covered in sand so I took one for the team and licked it off of her sweet face.
Mark was kind enough to catch me in the act.

It was gross.

Mark's website: http://eclecticanima.zenfolio.com/

Stella's Mermaid tail: http://www.etsy.com/listing/77940916/mermaid-photo-prop

P.S. I have had a few people ask me if these pictures were real.

100% yes.

confession

Tonight Matt and I were debating where to put the baby while I made dinner and he put the twins in their high chairs.
Matt suggested on the floor in the bouncy seat.
After I gave him a look of insanity he said

"What? The twins know now to be gentle with the baby".

Pssshhhhh.

I went to the laundry room and knew something was really wrong when

A: I heard Stella really crying.
    She has only cried 2 times.
    Once when Colton kicked her in the head
    and once when Chloe poked her in the eye.

B: I had to yell at least four times "what happened" before I got an answer.

Well
What had happened was......


I can actually show you.
Big Baby and Chloe were kind enough to reenact the scene.

Big Baby got the name Big Baby by my niece, Emma, for rather obvious reasons.
She's huge.

Yes, Matt actually found the bouncy seat like this
and
yes, my three week old daughter was in it.
and
yes, we think Chloe was the culprit being that she did it over and over again after we so kindly removed Stella.
Glad it didn't happen on my watch.

On a happier note, upon picking the kids up from school today I heard a little girl scream right after Colton walked in the classroom. He and two little girls were the only ones in the room so I was positive he had hit or pushed her. I reluctantly peeked my head in the room and saw the little girl screaming face down on the floor.

I even more reluctantly asked if he did it.

His teacher, shocked, looked at his other teacher and said "Colton?" "The twins?"

No way! We have been saying all day how well behaved the twins are! They are so easy going!

Got 'em!

At least for another week or so......

And while we're confessing,
Sometimes I pretend I am still nursing the baby even when I have been done for five minutes just to get out of taking care of the twins.
True story.

Sorry, Matt

wordless-ish wednesday

my grandma died friday.

i'm not ready to write about her yet.
i'm not good with death.
the first few days i tell my self everything is going to be fine over and over again.
the next few days i realize it's not.
and then i cry.
a lot.

i feel peace in my heart knowing she got to be a part of my children's lives.

even if it was a small part for my smallest baby.
my grandma rubbed her sweet tummy for an hour and baby stella was in heaven.

she was amazing.

Magic

i never knew how much i would enjoy writing this blog when i began.
i started it purely to freeze time the only way i knew how.
to capture memories and put them into words.

it's so hard to stay in the now.
but i have been trying.
tracing and memorizing every little line indented in her hands and feet from being so overcooked.

i know this will probably be my last chance to soak up the mind dizzying miracle that is a newborn
so that is exactly what i am doing.
soaking.
it.
up.


i know in the very near future my sweet stella
won't need tiny mittens.
or sleep in a teeny ball of perfection on my chest.
i won't be able to feel her tiny little fontanels because her bones will grow together making her skull.
she won't have that pure sweet newborn smell.
she won't need to be covered in a blanket 24 hours a day.
or swaddled.
she won't make precious little animal noises when she is drifting in and out of her peaceful newborn sleep.
and
she won't bury her head in my neck like fitting like the last little missing piece to complete my puzzle.

she'll be up and running before i know it.
and i know how fast it goes.

when she came out i thought how could she be so small?
the twins were two pounds smaller.
and while i remember their first few weeks, when i close my eyes i can't see it.
i want to be able to see it.
and remember every emotion.
the fear.
the excitement.
the feeling of unbelievable gratitude for a healthy baby.
knowing my body not only made
but
also brought this tiny miracle into this big crazy place.
waking up every few minutes to make sure she is still breathing.
laying in my bed with her and knowing right now, my only responsibility is to feed, love and change her.
that's it.
feed
love
and change.

having a baby is just mind blowing.
you think you've got your emotions in check throwing around the
"been there done that with two at the same time" mentality.
but
nothing can prepare you for labor and giving birth to an actual living and breathing baby.
a new baby casts a spell on you that is arguably one of the greatest feelings of all time.

some days it is so easy to get caught up in the difficulty conducting the train that is my life.

with the twins not understanding that this baby is not a toy
or by standing on the table because they know i can't get up while i'm feeding the baby
it's easy to loose my cool.
i get frustrated and send them off
and then i miss them.

they're adjusting, too.
i need to remember that.
so we're rolling on the best way i know how.
by just keepin' on.

i know i complain.
and some days i do think i have it hard.
but like everything else in life, it could be so much worse.

and just as i am teetering the line of will a glass bottle of wine fix this
or
do i actually need a short stint at an insane asylum
i am reminded of what i have.
and i wouldn't trade this life for anything.

children are magic.
and all three of mine have me under quite a beautiful spell.

wordless wednesday posted on thursday.

i'm allowed to be late. i just had a baby.

here are a few of my favorite pics so far.

1st day home

we made it.
we're home.
with only a few minor issues.

chloe has a fever and a little cold.

which is awesome.
i mean, wouldn't you want to bring your spankin' new baby fresh out of the oven home to a germ pool?

colton tried to pull off stella's umbilical cord and then he got a little overzealous during a feeding session.

and chloe thought hitting her in her face was acceptable.

stella has been so peaceful.
she really is a dreamy baby.

matt took the twins on a little shopping spree today.
that was the first time he has taken the twins anywhere.
ever.
by himself.
yup, i'm serious.
it only took 17 months.
he always said he was "scared".
nice try, buddy.

it was so quiet.
and then they came home.

and she was already over it.
so she covered her ears and said i'm done with this mess.
i say she stayed inside for so long because she could hear in there.
and the alternative?
are you nuts?
i agree, girlfriend. i agree.

so in order to avoid further physical altercations,
this is where she will reside for now.

displayed like a caged zoo animal.

where they can look.
and not touch.

until they find a way.

and they will

find a way.