you were due august 1st, 2011.
i knew that was not going to happen.
i had to kick the twins out and despite everyone telling me the next one always comes earlier,
i knew you were comfy.
and i was ok with that.
i wasn't ok on august 8th when they told me i was still barely 1 cm dilated.
the same exact place i had been a week prior.
i was straight up anxious on august 11th. You were ten days late.
that night, i went to get a manicure.
for the second time.
i also got a manicure on august 1st just in case.
what a waste of money.
although,
i got to spend precious time with nicole.
nicole, one of my sweet friends from high school, also does my nails when i need more than just a manicure.
she did them right before your brother and sister were born, too.
she took me in at the last minute because she knew it was pre-baby ritual.
it was 6:00 p.m.
we chatted away.
she joked about putting me in labor.
we talked long and laughed hard.
i remember watching my belly bounce
and wondering if it would be one of the last times.
i got home around 9:00.
a nearly three hour manicure is good for the soul. especially from someone you love.
your twins had been asleep for hours
and daddy was asleep, too.
i laid down around 10:00 and not long after that, i remember feeling a tightening in my belly.
i was so excited.
you were ten days late and i knew they wouldn't let me go much longer without an induction
i so wanted to go into labor spontaneously.
so terribly bad.
i knew God had a plan.
and i knew you would come.
on your own.
i waited for a while before i woke daddy up but i knew this was it.
around 11:30 p.m. i woke him up and told him we were having a baby.
i was so excited i was laughing.
you see, i kicked him out of our room a long time ago.
he was sleeping in your room.
you made me not sleep.
a lot.
i called the doctor's office to let them know i was in labor.
except the doctor slept through the answering service's call.
three times.
when she called, she said i sounded too calm and not in enough pain to be in labor.
um. ok.
she also told me this was common in a first time labor.
i politely reminded her that i had given birth to twins a year prior.
and that she delivered them.
i think she was still asleep.
nonnie jumped out of bed and flew over.
around two a.m., daddy and i packed up and headed to the hospital.
neither of us had bags packed.
my stomach was in knots realizing i would not get to say goodbye to the twins, but i was over the moon excited to say hello to you.
it is so scary when people tell you that your heart will to divide into another equal piece, but you don't understand how that can happen.
it is so beautiful when you realize, after it happens, that it has.
seamlessly.
on our way, daddy kept asking me how i felt.
i told him i was good.
i said we should stop to eat because i knew once i got there that food was off limits.
but i was explaining to him that even though i knew i should eat, i just wasn't hungry.
before i could finish that sentence, he said "oh no!"
"what! what is wrong" i said through contractions.
and he said "we should go back home and drop my truck off at my parents for louis in the morning."
"huh? why?" i asked.
he stated that it would be easier for louis to pick up his truck at gran and papa's since he would be working for daddy while we were with you.
ummmmmmmmm. hi.
i'm about to push a baby out of my vagina, but whatever makes things easier for louis is obviously what we need to do.
i told daddy "do you realize what you are saying right now? you want me to follow you in my car, to drop off your truck, while i'm in labor, so things are easier for louis?"
he started laughing when he realized how insane he sounded.
he admitted that he, too, did not really think i was in labor because i was calm.
and laughing,
i think he was looking for some oscar worthy labor performance.
but i felt great. and i was excited. and happy.
until i started second guessing myself.
would we be sent home?
was this not it?
we checked in and marveled that we had been in this exact same place a year and a half with no babies.
and here we were a year and a half later, hours away from meeting our third.
a little girl.
we sat.
and waited.
until we were called.
we moseyed through the hallways.
i vowed to take everything i felt in.
every smell.
every color.
every nurse.
every name.
to record it in the "i will never, ever forget this" portion of my brain.
i know how fast it goes.
i wanted pictures of everything.
i sat down in a cold plastic chair.
i was wearing sweat pants and a turquoise tank top.
a man took my blood pressure.
he led me to a triage room where i laid down and laughed with daddy.
i will cherish these times with your father forever.
i get emotional when i go back there mentally.
in the hospital, crawling of the edge of our seats, dying to meet our babies.
we were so in sync. him taking care of me, me taking care of you.
all we wanted to talk about was you.
would you look like chloe?
because you were a girl?
you would have to have blonde hair, right? right?
in between giggly and dreamy conversations where we felt like we were dancing in the clouds, we watched tv.
he had it on espn and a nurse marveled at his audacity to have it on a sports channel while his wife was having contractions every three minutes..
a few minutes later, it was three a.m. and the nurse came in and said today was going to be your birthday.
i couldn't wait.
and i was so excited to be right.
i wished that we would have taken daddy's truck back.
it would have made for a better story.
i couldn't wait to see you.
to hold you.
to see your teeny tiny purple little finger nails
i couldn't wait for the earth to stop when they put you in my arms for the first time.
we called nonnie, who was home with the twins, to let her know she was in for the long haul.
we weren't coming home without our baby girl.
Showing posts with label Birth. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Birth. Show all posts
Friday, August 10, 2012
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
twins birth story
before i was a mother i would have been appalled to hear one woman ask another woman their birth story.
how weird.
so awkward.
and like every other adventure in this little game i call motherhood i will step it up and own the fact that once again i am eating my words.
now,
i'm obsessed.
a lot of people have asked me to tell my story and i kept saying i would but never wrote it out and kind of just passed on the cliff notes.
being that tomorrow my twinnies turn one i thought it was fitting to finally share.
so yes.
again this will be a tmi post that most of you will probably want to pass on.
and for the two people who have waited a year to hear it, here goes.
i had a dream pregnancy for carrying twins.
i worked up until i was 37 weeks and that was just because i wanted the last week to relax.
walking was getting harder and harder and i would easily get short of breath.
my doctors told me they wouldn't let me go past 38 weeks because the risk of a "tragedy" outweighs the benefit of two more weeks in the womb for twins.
i have yet to find out exactly what this "tragedy" consists of
but
i went with it.
i had an appointment on thursday march 4th
during my non stress test i discovered i was indeed having contractions but i didn't feel them at all.
and i was a fingertip dilated.
a fingertip?
so annoying.
you see,
when you become pregnant with twins you hear non-stop horror stories of
bed rest,
premature labor,
the nicu,
and
how your coworkers
sister-in-laws
cousins
best friend delivered twins at 26 weeks.
the doctors tell you delivering around 35-36 weeks is very common and if you can hold out to 34 weeks you are pretty much golden.
and then there is me.
a fingertip dilated at 38 weeks??
they said they could schedule my induction for friday but i decided to wait it out until monday march 8th in hopes that they would come on their own.
i did not want to be induced.
no such luck.
on monday's appointment i was 1 cm and they told me to be at the hospital at 6:00 pm to be induced.
yup. in four hours i would be leaving with two babies in my belly and coming home with two babies outside my belly.
i was 38 weeks and 3 days and the doctors were amazed that i had done so well.
we left for the hospital with me looking like this:
actually this pic was taken at 36 weeks but you get the point.
matt was so nervous on the way to the hospital he actually got on the wrong interstate and we were late.
oops.
he will probably say he just missed the exit
but no
it was because he was nervous.
we got to the hospital and they strapped me to the monitors, started the cervadil and i quickly realized i was in for a long night.
the anticipation that i would be meeting these two bodies who had made my belly their home for 8 1/2 months was intense.
that
in addition to the fact that i had to lay flat on my back, not moving to keep these uncooperative twins on the monitor made for a long and sleepless night.
every time a baby would slip off the monitor it would make a horrifying beeping noise that would cue 2 nurses to come in, turn on the lights and "re-find" whichever baby fell off.
little did they know these babies were bossy even in the womb and had no interest in being traced.
they had to tag team and switch off because the babies were playing hide and seek.
i begged them to just let me sleep for a little bit without the monitors but it wasn't happening.
i started to stress knowing that in a few short hours i would be facing one of the biggest days of my life.
i wasn't getting sleep.
i couldn't eat.
i feared i would be too exhausted and too starving to push.
before i knew it the sun was coming up.
and from here on out i will be using the notes my husband so diligently took throughout my labor.
yup,
he took notes.
on a pad of paper.
he's really cute.
they started my pitocin at 8:20
i got my epidural at 11:20
and man are those things amazing.
at 11:45 they broke my water.
from then on it was hurry up and wait.
i wasn't in any pain but started to feel really sick to my stomach.
at 3:45 i got a really high fever and the babies heart rates went up.
i started throwing up and shaking really bad
there was talk of doing a c-section if the symptoms kept up and i was not happy.
from day one my dr's said to plan on having a c-section but i wasn't having it.
at 34 weeks both twins were head down and i knew i was delivering those babies with no scalpel.
the thought of this changing made me really upset.
they kept monitoring me and eventually gave me some antibiotics to bring down the babies heart rates and my temp.
i was progressing slowly and at 8:45 i was 4-5 cm with another fever and high heart rates.
they said they would give it a couple of hours but if their heart rates were still high i would need to have a c-section to avoid stress on the babies.
and
if it were medically necessary i knew i would have to oblige.
at 9:50 i was 7 cm and getting closer but during a sonogram to check the twins, baby b (colton) was no longer head down.
um what......
i was devastated.
i had been in labor for 12 hours and he just decided to flip.
um no thanks.
i don't think so little boy.
my dr knew how bad i wanted to do this on my own so she said if i wanted she would help "push him down" after i pushed out baby a (chloe)
she warned me that there was a very good chance that i could end up pushing one out and having a c-section with the other.
i decided to take my chances.
thank god at 11 pm i was 10 cm and they started preparing the operating room.
they told me i would probably be pushing for 2-3 hours with baby a and that baby b would probably come sooner than that.
ummmm no thank you.
i was not pushing for 4 hours thankyouverymuch.
my dad and my step mom were in the room right after i got checked and he went out and told the others he could tell i was putting my game face on.
he was right.
at 11:15 they wheeled me back.
they warned me that i would be delivering in an operation room with a team ready to perform emergency surgery but no one warned me how large that team would be.
i felt like there were people everywhere.
i looked at the clock and told myself the twins would be born by midnight.
i played with the idea of giving them different birthdays.
but seriously people, how easy would that have been?
i envisioned myself as being the quarterback
in the superbowl
4th quarter
seconds left on the clock
i needed to throw a hail mary.
so i did.
and i scored.
at 11:25 I started pushing.
at 11:35 chloe was born at 6.8 ounces and 20 inches long.
at 11:40 colton was born at 6.6 ounces and 20 1/4 inches long.
done.
and i would like to say i could have done it faster but the dr. had to push on my belly to flip colton.
just wanted to state that for the record.
it was an amazing delivery and i had two babies.
two babies.
some days i still look at them and think i can't believe i had two babies.
at the same time.
this whole journey started exactly one year ago today.
i don't want to get emo so i will spare you all the mixed crazy emotions i am experiencing and just leave you with these.
i'm obsessed with my kids and i can't imagine loving them anymore.
like kinda borderline unhealthy obsessed but i play it off like i'm chill.
i'm not.
happy almost birthday angel babies.
how weird.
so awkward.
and like every other adventure in this little game i call motherhood i will step it up and own the fact that once again i am eating my words.
now,
i'm obsessed.
a lot of people have asked me to tell my story and i kept saying i would but never wrote it out and kind of just passed on the cliff notes.
being that tomorrow my twinnies turn one i thought it was fitting to finally share.
so yes.
again this will be a tmi post that most of you will probably want to pass on.
and for the two people who have waited a year to hear it, here goes.
i had a dream pregnancy for carrying twins.
i worked up until i was 37 weeks and that was just because i wanted the last week to relax.
walking was getting harder and harder and i would easily get short of breath.
my doctors told me they wouldn't let me go past 38 weeks because the risk of a "tragedy" outweighs the benefit of two more weeks in the womb for twins.
i have yet to find out exactly what this "tragedy" consists of
but
i went with it.
i had an appointment on thursday march 4th
during my non stress test i discovered i was indeed having contractions but i didn't feel them at all.
and i was a fingertip dilated.
a fingertip?
so annoying.
you see,
when you become pregnant with twins you hear non-stop horror stories of
bed rest,
premature labor,
the nicu,
and
how your coworkers
sister-in-laws
cousins
best friend delivered twins at 26 weeks.
the doctors tell you delivering around 35-36 weeks is very common and if you can hold out to 34 weeks you are pretty much golden.
and then there is me.
a fingertip dilated at 38 weeks??
they said they could schedule my induction for friday but i decided to wait it out until monday march 8th in hopes that they would come on their own.
i did not want to be induced.
no such luck.
on monday's appointment i was 1 cm and they told me to be at the hospital at 6:00 pm to be induced.
yup. in four hours i would be leaving with two babies in my belly and coming home with two babies outside my belly.
i was 38 weeks and 3 days and the doctors were amazed that i had done so well.
we left for the hospital with me looking like this:
actually this pic was taken at 36 weeks but you get the point.
matt was so nervous on the way to the hospital he actually got on the wrong interstate and we were late.
oops.
he will probably say he just missed the exit
but no
it was because he was nervous.
we got to the hospital and they strapped me to the monitors, started the cervadil and i quickly realized i was in for a long night.
the anticipation that i would be meeting these two bodies who had made my belly their home for 8 1/2 months was intense.
that
in addition to the fact that i had to lay flat on my back, not moving to keep these uncooperative twins on the monitor made for a long and sleepless night.
every time a baby would slip off the monitor it would make a horrifying beeping noise that would cue 2 nurses to come in, turn on the lights and "re-find" whichever baby fell off.
little did they know these babies were bossy even in the womb and had no interest in being traced.
they had to tag team and switch off because the babies were playing hide and seek.
i begged them to just let me sleep for a little bit without the monitors but it wasn't happening.
i started to stress knowing that in a few short hours i would be facing one of the biggest days of my life.
i wasn't getting sleep.
i couldn't eat.
i feared i would be too exhausted and too starving to push.
before i knew it the sun was coming up.
and from here on out i will be using the notes my husband so diligently took throughout my labor.
yup,
he took notes.
on a pad of paper.
he's really cute.
they started my pitocin at 8:20
i got my epidural at 11:20
and man are those things amazing.
at 11:45 they broke my water.
from then on it was hurry up and wait.
i wasn't in any pain but started to feel really sick to my stomach.
at 3:45 i got a really high fever and the babies heart rates went up.
i started throwing up and shaking really bad
there was talk of doing a c-section if the symptoms kept up and i was not happy.
from day one my dr's said to plan on having a c-section but i wasn't having it.
at 34 weeks both twins were head down and i knew i was delivering those babies with no scalpel.
the thought of this changing made me really upset.
they kept monitoring me and eventually gave me some antibiotics to bring down the babies heart rates and my temp.
i was progressing slowly and at 8:45 i was 4-5 cm with another fever and high heart rates.
they said they would give it a couple of hours but if their heart rates were still high i would need to have a c-section to avoid stress on the babies.
and
if it were medically necessary i knew i would have to oblige.
at 9:50 i was 7 cm and getting closer but during a sonogram to check the twins, baby b (colton) was no longer head down.
um what......
i was devastated.
i had been in labor for 12 hours and he just decided to flip.
um no thanks.
i don't think so little boy.
my dr knew how bad i wanted to do this on my own so she said if i wanted she would help "push him down" after i pushed out baby a (chloe)
she warned me that there was a very good chance that i could end up pushing one out and having a c-section with the other.
i decided to take my chances.
thank god at 11 pm i was 10 cm and they started preparing the operating room.
they told me i would probably be pushing for 2-3 hours with baby a and that baby b would probably come sooner than that.
ummmm no thank you.
i was not pushing for 4 hours thankyouverymuch.
my dad and my step mom were in the room right after i got checked and he went out and told the others he could tell i was putting my game face on.
he was right.
at 11:15 they wheeled me back.
they warned me that i would be delivering in an operation room with a team ready to perform emergency surgery but no one warned me how large that team would be.
i felt like there were people everywhere.
i looked at the clock and told myself the twins would be born by midnight.
i played with the idea of giving them different birthdays.
but seriously people, how easy would that have been?
i envisioned myself as being the quarterback
in the superbowl
4th quarter
seconds left on the clock
i needed to throw a hail mary.
so i did.
and i scored.
at 11:25 I started pushing.
at 11:35 chloe was born at 6.8 ounces and 20 inches long.
at 11:40 colton was born at 6.6 ounces and 20 1/4 inches long.
done.
and i would like to say i could have done it faster but the dr. had to push on my belly to flip colton.
just wanted to state that for the record.
it was an amazing delivery and i had two babies.
two babies.
some days i still look at them and think i can't believe i had two babies.
at the same time.
this whole journey started exactly one year ago today.
i don't want to get emo so i will spare you all the mixed crazy emotions i am experiencing and just leave you with these.
i'm obsessed with my kids and i can't imagine loving them anymore.
like kinda borderline unhealthy obsessed but i play it off like i'm chill.
i'm not.
happy almost birthday angel babies.
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