almost there

but not quite.
i will be 40 weeks monday.
today is saturday.

i have been eating like it is my last day.

kind of like

i might as well eat it since i might not be pregnant tomorrow.

guess what?
between you and me?

i know i'll be pregnant tomorrow
but
it's kind of like
every night i think........this could be my last chance to eat like a glutton.
which clearly is enough for me to justify the disgusting things i continue to put in my mouth.

among my favorites?
this bad boy.



the strawberry pillow.

i can't handle it.

i think about them non stop.

among my other favs this go round are

pie crust. no filling. just a little bit of the sugary cornstarch stuff and crust.

starbucks blueberry scones.

tijuana flats ice

pasta
churros
cake. no frosting. just cake. actually, i freeze cake. and eat it frozen. it's devine.

peanut butter

french fries

and pretty much anything else you shouldn't eat on the reg.

i have gained 36 pounds.

3 of which came last week.

i got cocky.

i gained 1/2 of a pound over the past three weeks and clearly thought i could maintain that.

oops.

whatev.

i'm not worried about it.

after baby i will get back to business.

i gained 63 pounds with the twins and it took 6 1/2 months to lose it so hopefully that "it's harder to lose weight the second time around" nonsense is

just

that.

nonsense.

i mean a girl can dream, right?

now if you'll excuse me, i have a strawberry pillow to devour.

oh.....p.s. i am due monday.

like not tomorrow

but the next day.

and i have been dilated one centimeter for three weeks now.

so it's looking like baby girl is going to arrive in style, fashionably late.

to be honest, that is just fine by me.

a wise woman once told me they are a lot easier to manage inside than they are outside.

i learned that she was right about 6 minutes after the twins were born.

Ahhhhhh......slowly exhaling.

I feel so much better.

Thank you all so much for sending love. Whether it was by email, facebook or a comment on my blog you made me feel better and not alone.

And thank you Amy for sending all your million followers who have been there done that and let me know I would indeed make it. Love you, Aim.

I really feel better already.
I have already begun operation spoil my kids faces off.
I know it's not right.
I know it will make it more difficult for those caring for my twins while I'm out of commission.
But,
frankly,
I don't care.

It has already made me feel better and let's be honest, that's what's important.
Ummm hmm.
I'm selfish like that.

So yeah.

We went to Curtis Hixon Park even though it was 942 degrees and I was quite certain my baby was going to fall out of my stomach right then and there.
And we went with the twins best friend Veronica.
She's a really good mom and packs lots of snacks.
She keeps my kids full and they know who butters their bread.
And they love it.
And they love her.
And Chloe's first french kiss was with her son, Jameson.
Which, she initiated, I might add.
Don't worry, we had a talk with her.

V knows Chlo loves wa la la la
so,
of course,
she hooked her up.

P.S. Chloe calls watermelon "wa la la la" with extra drama on the la la la with her tongue.

And girlfriend isn't scared of a little rind.

This is J letting Colton know that he will continue to kiss Chloe if he wants to.

Miss Independent enjoyed a leisurely stroll while her counterpart remained a permanent fixture on my hip.

Until there was more fun to be had.

We had cinnamon rolls for breakfast on Sunday.
And chicken fingers for lunch.
And I think there may have been a half of cookie in there somewhere.
I am kind of a health freak in regards to the twins diet so this speaks volumes on the level I intend to spoil.

But just for the record......only I am allowed to do that.......mmkay, grandparents?

Today I geared up and took them to another splash park.

And it's only Tuesday.
So twinnies.......live it up, we have two more weeks of this nonsense.

Mamma loves you.

stratton, party of four

believe it or not i have 4 blogs in draft that i have started to write this week.
i thought if i plowed through eventually at least one of them would come together.
obviously, they didn't.
so there they will sit until i am feeling them.
i need to blog about fathers day.
i need to blog about my fishees and how they are learning to swim.
i need to blog about the beautiful sprinkle my family and friend threw for this sweet baby girl who does gymnastics in my belly all night long.
but

all of those are happy things and i have been feeling so emo this week so i can't give them the vibe that i feel that they deserve.

the truth is this baby is coming soon.
like for real.
like 15 days soon.

and i am scared.

it is a weird feeling bringing another baby into your family when you have
two babies that are still,
well,
babies.
at least they are to me.
the twins turned 16 months last week.

i find myself being even more mamma bear and protective over the them now.
they have had me all to themselves for 16 months.
and colton is so needy.
such a mamma's boy.

i feel like we're bringing a puppy home.
you know you are going to love the puppy
and that the puppy will be a part of your family.
and you know in a few short days after that puppy is home you will be saying things like
"i just can't remember life before this puppy"
"this puppy is the greatest thing to happen to this family"
and
"with this puppy, our family feels complete"
but still, you can't help but wonder how it will be in the interim.
for the twins.
and to be honest,
for me.

i know it's me.
realistically,
i know the twins will be fine without me for a few days
but
i will miss them.
like a lot.
i get teary just thinking about how their life is going to be uprooted.
all while i'm not even there to hold them and tell them how my love for them won't change
in fact, it will grow watching them begin love my sweet pea as much as i do.
and i know even if i did get deep with them they wouldn't understand
and
that they wouldn't even sit still long enough for me to get the first sentence out.

but right now, i'm anxious about properly adjusting our lives to accommodate a third child.

the twins jump on me like i'm a playground apparatus (sorry baby number three)
and we won't be able to rough house for a while.
and i won't be able to throw them up in the air
or
run around and chase them.
and hello
i'm bringing home a new
baby
to stay.
and i'm going to have to be mean because i won't allow them to beat up on her for at least like 2 weeks.
by then i'll be too tired and she will just have to fend for herself.

and to make matters more difficult, my twinnies have been so good this week.
almost throwing it in my face like...

are you suuuuuure you want to stay in the hospital and leave us for days and bring home a new little girl

 for us to live with

forever?



i feel like there is more we should be doing together.

like qt stuff.

these are our last couple weeks as

stratton, party of four.

so i'm probably going to spoil them for the next two weeks.

like a lot.

maybe we'll have ice cream for breakfast one day.

maybe that will make me feel better.

i just love you sweet babies and trust me, another sibling is one of the greatest gifts you will ever receive.

i know,

i'm lucky to be one of five and they are my best friends.

all of them.

hang in there.

things will get back to normal.....well, our new normal shortly.

mommy loves you more than you know.

and p to the s,

dad, i know i said like a lot in this post but just go with it.

mmkay?

uncontrollable chaos

listen here people.
the wheels are falling off.

i'm losing my mind and nothing makes sense around here.

the chaos is no longer controllable.

and why is my blog header cut off?
I can't figure it out and don't have time to.

how am i having a baby in 2.5 weeks?
how have i been pregnant for 37.5 weeks.
and yes, that .5 means a lot at this point in the game.

i have accomplished nothing.
aside from growing this baby
which,
i guess,
is a pretty amazing accomplishment.

i have no bags packed.
no plan for labor.
no car seat.
no coming home outfit.
the pack n play that my sweet pea will sleep in is currently the twins time out spot
and
i have no idea where any of the pack n play sheets are?

i had the sheets washed and folded with fabric softener sheets in between them so they would smell fresh whenever they were unfolded.

and can the poor kid get a name?

i know this really isn't a big deal to some so save your comments telling me i will be fine if i don't name her until she is two days old.
it's just weird?
what if i can't pick a name and then i'm forced to pick one that doesn't feel right because the hospital is pressuring me?

i did buy some newborn diapers last night so she will have 84 diapers which is a start, right?

i wish i nested.
you know, you hear those sweet stories where women just go into this crazy cleaning frenzy so everything is just perfect when the baby comes?

what the heck?

why didn't i get that?
anyone who knows me knows i need all the help i can get in the cleaning department.

and
the twins sure aren't making anything easier.

well,
one twin in particular.

monday was one of the worst days since the twins were born.
i think i cried 17 times.
tuesday i woke up and my eyes were red rimmed and stinging.....still.

colton has taken his clingy-ness to the next level.
he screamed for 2 hours straight and wouldn't stop unless i was holding him
in a blanket
sitting down
on the couch
and talking to him.

which,
i refused to buy into.

so it was either let him be the boss or show him i am boss.
both options sucked but i opted to be boss.
so he followed me around grabbing my legs for two hours.

let me tell you, it was torture.


when we got to swim the rash he had been sporting for a day was in full force.
i took him to the dr and he has......
ready for this?

hand, foot, mouth disease.

so
gross.

we have no idea how he got it
but
he has it.

then,
of course,
i felt guilty for letting him scream for hours
but i was still going insane because
he was still screaming

for hours.
this time, he was inconsolable.

he is getting better but the nasty fungus has temporarily suspended our swim career.
which
is really awesome because they have three weeks left
and i timed it perfectly to be over right before i have another baby.

so everything is just going swell around here and if i make it through the next 3 weeks no one will be more amazed than me.

\but,
before i go,
can i give a shout out to the baby in my belly real quick?

i don't know if you are going to continue being such an angel once you come out
but i can promise you if you are,
you will definitely be my favorite.
like for real.
and for forever.

i can't decide if i just don't have time to succumb to the pains and trials of pregnancy or if you have just been that good to me.

either way,
if you keep this up and sleep like a normal newborn and pretty much do everything opposite of the twins did their first 10 months you will get more toys at christmas
and a car.
when you turn 15 and a half.
and it will be a new car.
and i'll make the twins share a car.
an old car.

and i won't even hide it.
it won't even be our little secret.
i'll tell people openly you're my favorie.

deal?

Wordless-ish Wednesday

These pictures are from my phone. Sorry they are so blurry

Get home from swim.

Put food on the counter for lunch.

Run to the laundry room to put towels and swim diapers in washer.

Come back in the kitchen.

Realize food on the counter can now be reached by nosy and inquisitive twins.

Fine.

You win.

Eat off the floor so I can make lunch in peace and quiet.



Destroy family room in .4 seconds while I pee for the 742nd time today.

Clean up family room lunch mess only to discover twins dancin on the upside down tables in the the living room.


Thank God for nap time.