do you wanna know why?

listen.
i've said it before and i'll say it again.
i am no neat freak.

but

i have a better appreciation for an orderly house since the twins have come along.
i love things neat,
i just don't want to be the one who neatens them.
get it?

the appreciation for a more organized space is more out of necessity versus cleanliness.

i need to know where two pacifiers are at all time because multiple meltdowns ensue around these parts at any given moment. and pacis are a quick fix to me maintaining the shred of sanity i have left.

i need to know where the wipes are
which,
are under the couch teetering the line of reachable/non reachable.
i am too pregnant to be able to lean over and dig deep but too tired to heave this belly up once i've already sat down.
they must remain far enough back to where the twins can't reach them and play one of their favorite games commonly known as "let's empty the wipes container, snack on a few, hide a few and throw the rest like we are celebrating like we are in a greek restaurant".

i need to know where diapers are and where clean sippy cups are and where clean clothes are.
we leave this house in a flash most days to avoid meltdowns that are brimming up about to explode by one of the three of us.
the last one has become tricky because the twins love to empty all of their drawers and throw all their clean clothes on the floor mixing them with the piles of laundry that "i will do that day"
ha.
it is mainly tricky for other people because they don't know what is clean or what is dirty.
one of my husbands pet peeves.
i have decided the best cure is not dressing them unless we leave the house.
easy peasy.
less laundry.

anyways.
you get the point.

i would love a clean house but i am unable to do it.
and i don't get how people do.

for example:
i start each day saying today i will mop.......or........fold laundry........or.........dust.
ha.
let's be honest,
i have probably dusted this house twice.
but sometimes when i see how dusty it is i really do say that in my head.

however,
with great intentions or not,
the following seem to happen rather regularly clouding my ability to clean.

i regularly end up putting everything back in the pantry that the twins have taken out.

or

i have to constantly remove my monkey child from whichever surface he has decided to climb.

                                                                            or dangle from

sometimes i do get the house mopped

but

you would never know because ten minutes later

it is covered in yogurt.

or sometimes

i have to

clean up the bowl of peas that was dumped and somehow made its way into the family room along with the magazine that somehow got shredded.

or plead with the twins that not only is it not a good idea to stand on the table, it is also not good to play with light switches.



sometimes that laundry doesn't get folded because right after i have put the twins down for a nap i find a box of cereal that mysteriously has ended up on the floor instead of in its box.

sometimes i waste twenty minutes walking around the house looking for the charger to the computer because my darling children like to unplug it and hide it.

i guess what i am trying to say is......

matty,

as crazy as the house looks when you get home, know it is a far improvement from where it once was.

p.s. notice how they aren't fully clothed in one single picture?
told you.

***REVISION***

it is now 6:04.
i wrote the above post around 1:00.
i tidied up from 5-5:45.
this place looked good.
well almost good.
the vacuum started smoking.
and being that the twins chase the vacuum with their faces a few inches from it i stopped avoiding what i felt could result in a potential emergency room visit.
 so i only got half of that done
i then cooked dinner while side stepping through these shenanigans.
they did this in 12 minutes.

which of course is when matty got home.

he said "what happened in here? did a bomb go off?"

all while pouring a cocktail and sauntering to a nice warm shower.

alone.

sometimes i think physical violence should be allowed in marriages.

today is one of those days.

Holy Catch Up

Alright
Alright.

I have so much to catch you up on that I don't know where to start.

The truth is???
I just don't feel like blogging. I feel like sleeping.
The twins started swim lessons last week and sitting outside in that heat is exhausting.
I just want to sleep.
That, and the fact that they require six towels each lesson means extra laundry.
I cheat and use four but still, they have lessons five days a week so that means twenty towels a week.
I'm not a good housewife.

Actually

I'm an awesome housewife I just leave a lot to be desired in the cleaning department.
Luckily I am awesome in all other parts so it kinda balances out.
Ya feel me?

Anyway......here is my feeble attempt at catching you up even though I want to be sleeping.

The twins cousins came in town.
How cute is this group?

Although we didn't get to spend too much time together (my cousins were in town and staying with us) we were able to snap a pic.

We celebrated my dad's birthday.

We let the twins have ice cream for the first time.

 This is what happened when ice cream time was declared over.

Luckily, for her, her grandpa is a pushover and let her scrape the plate.
What is it with those Grandparents and sugar?

When she realized there she was unable to get any more on her spoon the meltdown ensued.

She recovered enough to give grandpa a birthday pic with 3/4's of the grand kids. Baby Brandon was home probably sleeping like the little angel he is.

I packed up and headed to my dad's beach condo while dada stayed home, you can read about that here......I'm not ready revisit those memories yet.
You can't tell by these pics but it was a

de·ba·cle

We made it home in one piece with mama vowing not to travel without dada anymore.
Or maybe just not pregnant.
Who knows.
Jury is still out.

Kids just woke up.

To
Be
Continued.

Ohhhhh.
p.s. - we only have 6 more weeks until baby number three. 6 more weeks.
I find that comical.
In six or seven or probably eight weeks I will have three kids.
And no, she doesn't have a name yet.

i lied

i really had great intentions to blog last week but let's be honest, i haven't even done last weeks laundry.
i'm out of sippy cups and finally decided to wrangle all the stragglers the twins hide around the house and get them in the dishwasher.
i'm tired, man.
the twins have started swim lessons so we have that every.day and that sun gets me.
i guess i just came to complain and make excuses as to why i haven't blogged.
tomorrow i will pry my eyelids open during nap time and keep them away from the casey anthony trial to blog.

xo and i'm glad ya'll still check this lil ole blog.

steady streamin'

i'm way behind around here.

and once you stop blogging it's hard to just jump back in.

we had family staying with us last week and then i went to my dad's beach condo.

things i learned:
don't take 14 month old twins to the beach by yourself.
make sure you scan the beach for a jellyfish infestation before you let your babies out of the stroller.

if you need to know what to do when your babies try to eat jellyfish, call me, i now know.
yes the twins ate jellyfish.
yes both of them.

they were dying on the sand.
the jellyfish,
not the twins.

yes they got stung.
yes it was miserable.
the good news is that since the jellyfish were dying/dead the poison wasn't as potent?

i need to contact my dad's condo hoa and ask them to remove the stairs and install a ramp.....pulling/pushing the stroller up and down the stairs for the beach access is redic.....especially eight months pregnant.
i thought my baby was going to fall out.
and it was hot.

i have eight more weeks with this baby in my belly.....which, let's be honest, means she will probably be here in ten.

i go to the doctor and hope he tells me i am already dilating.

they won't even check. i know that. but a girl can dream.

this pregnancy couldn't have gone any easier.

i kind of knew it would because after being pregnant with twins how couldn't it be?

i think that is why this poor baby girl hasn't gotten much face time on the blizog.
after a day at busch gardens or the zoo i feel really pregnant but other than that sometimes i forget.

i had pregnancy insomnia with the twins and i have it this time too.

not being able to sleep when you're exhausted is exhausting.

and not fair.

i wake up every night around midnight and 2:15.

that's in addition to all the other times i have to get up to pee.

in ten weeks i will have three children under the age of one and a half. that's insane.

yes i am terrified.

i don't know how i am going to survive.

my daughter has turned into a bully.

she hits and pinches.

today at target i took away a shoe from her as we were leaving and she poked me in the eye, smacked me in the face, pulled my hair so hard it came out of my rubber band and pinched me.....all while gritting her teeth and shaking.

what the heck is that?

she looked psycho.

i wanted to laugh so hard but i was so mad at the same time.

she is so cute that she can kinda pull off crazy. kind of like me.

don't worry, i laid down the law and we are currently working on her physical aggression.

in cuter news she now says bubba and gets all shy and flirty and uhhhhhdorable when she looks at him.

you'd die.

they both say baby when they see babies. again, uhhhdorable.

they both yell bye with the cutest southern twang......even when they have no intention of going anywhere.

even though they are the cutest twins on the earth they are kinda making me crazy.

i need a break. or a vacation. or just a day without them.

they have such strong personalities and they gang up on me.

i don't know if it is because i am pregnant or not but sometimes i want to throw them across the room....maybe more like lightly toss.

nope, that's a lie. sometimes i want to throw them.

i just hope they both have twins so they can be paid back. and i can laugh.

and i've kind of learned lately how much difference a baby's demeanor can make.

for example, i have tried to turn my kids into tv junkies. they will watch yo gabba gabba for about four minutes then it's time to do something else.

they are both stubborn and high energy and demanding and determined and any other adjective that are synonyms for the aforementioned.

so, if i had tv junkie kids that just sat for ten minutes maybe twins wouldn't be so tough? i'll never know.

i can't wait to have a fruity summer cocktail. ten more weeks. ten more weeks.

we still haven't picked a name.

i don't even know if we're close.

we might be those parents who still don't have a name when the baby is born.

i'm weirdly ok with that.

i am the kind of person that knows what she wants immediately.

and i know what i want but my husband won't oblige.

i'm not giving up.

i got serious and asked what needed to happen for me to get my way.

he said nothing.

he obviously isn't too good of a negotiator......or he really just doesn't want the name.

that's what's going on around here.

stay tuned.......i'm back on track.

xo